Soon

My new laptop has arrived! I need to get it (and my new wireless router) set up and soon I will be blogging from the comfort of my couch. Ah, the good old days.

That's how it all started, you know. Sitting on the sofa, wirelessly connected to the internet. Nearly four years ago.

Yeah, this blog has been suffering. Look at that goddam tagline - I've had it up there all year! Give me some suggestions, folks. What should I list as my new tagline in 2008?

In other news ...

... I took on a new temporary roommate. It's not nearly as much fun as when Phil was here. We're both being quiet and respectful of each other, but I don't want to be quiet and respectful in my house. I want to do whatever the bleep I want to do. I need to tell myself that it is a means to an end. Her rent is helping pay for the new laptop. And it's only temporary. But still. She can't leave soon enough.

... my friend's daughter is out of the hospital! She still has a long, difficult road to recovery, but she's out and she was able to celebrate Christmas at home. Yippee!

... I had a two hour lunch with a friend on Monday. Her family stories make my life look a piece of cake. It's all about perspective.

... I am one of two people in the office this week. And I honestly did put in a long, full day of work.

... Did I tell you the high blood pressure was back? Yeah. Genetics is kicking my ass.

Happy Birthday, Jacob!

I couldn't think of a title for what is sure to be a rambling post but then I remembered it's my nephew's birthday, so good enough.

Traveled to visit my family this past weekend (part of the reason for the slew of vanity plates) and met my niece. She was born on April 28. What a little peanut! I know, everyone thinks their child/niece/nephew is the cutest ever, but she really is! It was great to see my brother with his daughter and to watch my parents with their granddaughter. I spent some time holding her too. Just holding her and watching her breathe. Watching the funny facial expressions while she sleeps. I'm sure if I was responsible for her 24/7 that would eventually wear off ...

It's a busy week for me. Pilates on Monday. Yoga on Tuesday. Pilates on Wednesday. Community walk-a-thon on Thursday. Girls Night Out on Friday. I won't get to see The Man again until Saturday. I'm beginning to drag a little. I am just not as young and energetic as I used to be.

So at the risk of putting too much personal information up here, I had my second mammogram on Friday. All clear so I don't need to have my boobs squished for another two years. I also ended up having a thyroid scan and bloodwork done. All functioning normally although the nodule on the right side now seems to have morphed into two separate nodes, but as long as I don't have any problems swallowing or breathing and the thing doesn't double in size and grow out the side of my neck, I'm fine.

That's all I got. What's new with you?

Crisis management.

Why is that once I decide to cease blogging, I suddenly need an outlet to vent?

Kenna, thank you so much for letting me spout off here!

The other day I attended a Girl Scout leader training class. At one point, the crowded room was filled with noise from the multiple conversations going on. We'd been discussing girls in our troops with special needs. I mentioned to the woman next to me that one of my Girl Scouts had been diagnosed as clinically depressed years ago and had tried to commit suicide. This was an eight-year-old, mind you! Anyway, the woman's response was to confess that she, herself, had recently attempted suicide and had just gotten out of some sort of care facility. She concluded by saying it had been a "nice little $16,000 vacation."

I was a little taken aback, to say the least. I fumbled for the best respond I could muster, asking, "You're doing much better now, right?" She said she was but she thought her meds dosage needed increasing.

Today I mentioned all this to Celia, my neighbor/friend/writing partner. Celia reacted with shock and the first thing she asked me was, "Did you report her?"

What? Report her to who?

Celia informed me I should have questioned the woman's position as a Girl Scout leader and that I should have immediately reported what the woman told me to someone above us. We debated this for a bit before, blessedly, the subject changed and we returned to our writing.

But I was so rattled and dismayed over Celia's reaction for several reasons:

1. It seems such a brutal thing to do - to immediately "tattle" on the woman for suffering depression, to question her ability to manage as a GS leader.

2. Why cause the woman even more strife and stress??? And why take away something that she enjoys doing?

3. Shouldn't girls (at least older ones) know that depression is a mental illness that can be managed? Couldn't there be some positives to this?

4. I have an appointment this Thursday to speak with a doctor about my own depression. Celia's reaction, her thoughts on this woman's condition versus her ability to function as a leader . . . it hit home! I wanted to blurt out, "I've been horribly depressed - do you think I should step down as a Girl Scout leader? Are you going to report me?"

It was all very distressing for me; I could barely manage to continue working with her this morning, I so desperately wanted to escape, to go curl up in a ball and cry.

And seriously: if someone had confessed such a thing to Celia in a similar situation, would she have reported her? Or would she have questioned her further, made sure the woman had a good support system in place? After all, troops are required to have a minimum of TWO leaders. It's not like the other leader would stand by while the depressed, suicidal one handed out razors and taught the troop how to properly slice open a vein.

Man, I wish I'd come up with that argument for Celia when she was scolding me for not tattling! I hate that I'm so slow to react, that my clever responses hit me hours too late.

Any thoughts on this? What would you have done in either situation: first the woman confiding in you about her depression/suicide attempt and Celia's reaction? I'd like to know.

Enough about Kenna's iPod.

It's been days and that iPod post was still up. DAYS, I tell you.

Let's talk about something else. Like, my eye.

Three days ago it felt like something was in my eye, wedged in between the eyeball and the lower lid. I pried it open and looked but saw nothing out of the ordinary, other than it looked slightly redder than normal.

Three days later, I wake up and it's puffy and I'm a little nervous. What if I lose my eye due to a raging infection of some sort? Eyelid Cancer? Would I choose to wear a patch or get a glass eye? I called the doctor to see if they could squeeze me in and they could NOT. I had to wait until the evening urgent care hours and then the doctor announced it was simply "An Irritation." I'll tell you what's an irritation. Waiting all day to see the doctor, driving thirty minutes to urgent care only to find out the urgent care hours didn't start for another hour, waiting at urgent care for 1 hour, twenty minutes, then waiting in the exam room for another thirty minutes. THAT, my friends, is An Irritation.

He prescribed medicated eye drops, probably an overpriced version of Visine. I can only administer the drops twice a day and they don't seem to help much so, on the pharamcist's recommendation, I also bought some Visine to help soothe the eye. It's become more painful, red and itchy today, but not as swollen.

I've noticed a pattern in my family's health. Every March, without fail, each one of us develops an illness or injury requiring a visit to the doctor or urgent care. My daughter injured her foot early in the month. My husband hurt his back. Then my daughter got the flu. And, finally, my turn, my eye inexplicably develops An Irritation.

What is it with MARCH? I think I hate March. I'm skipping it next year.

Passages

I'm still standing.

I had not one, but two kidney stones. I passed the first one and the second one, well, it's hanging out there somewhere. Maybe it will attack, maybe it won't. Either way, I've got a boatload of Hydrocodone (and a refill!) if it does.

I've heard kidney stones are painful, and I can tell you it's true. It felt like my entire insides were being twisted and squeezed. I had managed to drive myself home from work (only a mile - with the window down and the door barely latched in case I needed to suddenly retch) and to the doctor's office, but when the doctor said I had to go yet another mile down the road for the CAT scan, I called in the reinforcements. Of course, by that time they'd given me a shot for the pain, so perhaps I could have made it, but you know what? I felt better having someone with me.

I'm not sure when I passed the stone, but it was fairly quickly after I'd gone to the doctor. I picked up the prescription and took just one painkiller, expecting to wake up and take another one in the middle of the night. It never happened. I slept well and felt fine the next morning, so off to work I went.

I'm just glad this happened now instead of two weeks from now when I am on vacation!

Self Diagnosis

I'll know later this afternoon after I return from the doctor's office, but for now I'm betting it's a kidney stone. I've heard they are painful, and let me tell you - it's true. All tied in with the new high blood pressure medication, I'm guessing. Not drinking enough water. Trying to drink some now to get a head start on the flushing process, but I just threw up the first 15 oz or so that I drank.

Yup. I'm a sick puppy.