3,073

I've accumulated 3,073 pieces of spam in my gmail account in the last 30 days. Must be a new record. The only bright spot is that at least all these messages have been filtered out of my inbox and I never had to deal with them.

Oprah Wants Me Back

I let my O magazine subscription lapse in 2006. I had paid for a multi-year subscription and when it ran out I was in cost cutting mode and I just couldn't afford Oprah any more. When she started writing about the things she just couldn't live without and it included $70 sweat pants, I knew she had jumped the shark. She just wasn't in touch with her peeps any more.

Guess what? Oprah wants me back! I got the following offer in the mail today:



Mmmm, yeah. I think I'll pass. Even at the reduced 'research' rate of $15 I just can't bring myself to subscribe. I'll stick with Cooking Light, thankyouverymuch.

Well, Hello There!

Hi folks - was just making a few entries online and thought I would pop over here and leave a tidbit. I'm not blogging on a regular basis at all and I miss it in some ways. I think most of all I miss the freedom it gave me to say what I wanted to say. But nothing is really anonymous out here on the web, so I really couldn't say anything I wanted to say.

I'm still going through some sort of mid life crisis. Not knowing what I want to do or where I want to go ... I have wonderful people in my life and I'm afraid I'm not appreciating them as much as I should. I reconnected with high school classmates over the summer and it's been great catching up with them via email and Facebook and such.

I guess I just need to sort out what's going on in my life. When I'm not so scattered, maybe I can come back and give you the attention you deserve. Until then, be well.

Memories ...

I have great memories of this time of year ...

In 2004, it was the original Match.com party.
In 2005, it was the Red Hot party. Check out the photo - I was indeed Red Hot!
I may have skipped my annual June party in 2006. That year really wasn't a good one for me. Last year I sounded a bit more upbeat, but I didn't take or post party photos. And I just had my party last weekend and - no photos.

But enjoy the blasts from the past I've posted here.

Blast From The Past

Just because ... here's a flashback to three years ago today.

Out With The Old, In With The New

I've made up my mind.

It's over.

It's time for me to leave this blog behind. It served its purpose and did so well, but I've left behind just enough of a trail for real-life npeople to figure out who I am. I'm not ashamed of anything I've written here, but it just weirds me out that there are people who know my real identity who are lurking and reading my blog. You know who you are. Now you know that I know. And I've known for over a year.

Hey, it's a free country. I put the blog out there, and people are reading it. But having people who know me in real life read this blog without acknowledging their presence was not the purpose of this blog.

If you've been here for the whole ride, you know what this blog was about.

It was about my trying to find my niche in life.

It was about me going through a divorce and thinking I was over it and better off for it but struggling nonetheless.

It was about me thinking that Phil was the man of my dreams and then inviting him to be my housemate and realizing that we really are better off just being friends.

It was about me losing a job and trying to figure out what I want to do for a living, and trying first one job and then another and still not being sure I've found my calling.

It was about me occasionally making pertinent, perhaps even poignant, comments on the human condition.

Sometimes, it was just about documenting the vanity plates I saw on the road.

That's what it was about. But what is it about now?

It's going to be about having my say, but this time I won't blur the lines or smudge the edges. If I can't, try as I might, be like John and blog under my true identity, then I'm going to need to create a new identity.

And I can't take you with me.

My email address still works, and it always will. If you want to get in touch with me, you know how. I welcome your comments (even from the lurkers!) and I know where you are, and hopefully I'll find more time to drop in and say hello, leave a comment or two - as Kenna. She's not going away.

She's just not going to be blogging here any more.

You Are Now Free to Roam About The Cabin

We had a little bit of a conflict with Windows, Dell and LinkSys fighting over control of the connection, but it was finally resolved and I am now talking to you live, from my sofa! Life is good.

Perspective

It's all about perspective.

You know how I said I had lunch with a friend on Monday and her family stories make my life look like a piece of cake? Well, I just got off the phone with a completely different friend who is dealing with even more grief than the aforementioned friend, and it really, really, really brought things into perspective for me.

I'm just at that age where I need to start worrying about my parents' health. What is going to happen twenty years from now when all the Baby Boomers are in their 80s and they are stricken with Alzheimer's and dementia and because of the economy they don't have the money to pay for private nursing care and their families can't (or won't) take them in? Who is going to shelter and feed these people?

Will the asylum culture rise again? Will we need to build large facilities where we can park these people who have mental conditions but because of the miracles of modern medicine, physically they are as strong as horses and just won't die? What happens when the mind gives out but the body lives on? I seriously need to sit my parents down and go through some preparation with them now.

My parents don't have a lot. I expect to receive exactly nothing from them when they die. They are hard working, honest blue collar folks who spent their lives raising four children. That's what they have to show for their life's work. But let me tell you this - I will fight to shelter and protect the few things they do have. The way I see it, they are owed health care in their old age, and they shouldn't have to sell their last possession to get that handout. They have paid taxes for years and now they deserve to get that money back in the form of free nursing home health care if that's what they need.

Enough said.

Soon

My new laptop has arrived! I need to get it (and my new wireless router) set up and soon I will be blogging from the comfort of my couch. Ah, the good old days.

That's how it all started, you know. Sitting on the sofa, wirelessly connected to the internet. Nearly four years ago.

Yeah, this blog has been suffering. Look at that goddam tagline - I've had it up there all year! Give me some suggestions, folks. What should I list as my new tagline in 2008?

In other news ...

... I took on a new temporary roommate. It's not nearly as much fun as when Phil was here. We're both being quiet and respectful of each other, but I don't want to be quiet and respectful in my house. I want to do whatever the bleep I want to do. I need to tell myself that it is a means to an end. Her rent is helping pay for the new laptop. And it's only temporary. But still. She can't leave soon enough.

... my friend's daughter is out of the hospital! She still has a long, difficult road to recovery, but she's out and she was able to celebrate Christmas at home. Yippee!

... I had a two hour lunch with a friend on Monday. Her family stories make my life look a piece of cake. It's all about perspective.

... I am one of two people in the office this week. And I honestly did put in a long, full day of work.

... Did I tell you the high blood pressure was back? Yeah. Genetics is kicking my ass.

So Much To Say ...

... so little time.

Not sure I've ever gone this long without posting. It seems I'm going every single day. To the gym on Monday. To yoga on Tuesday. Committee meetings on Wednesday. To the gym on Thursday. To happy hour on Friday. To holiday parties on Saturday. Is it any wonder?

First things first - I'm getting a new computer! I cannot wait to have a new wireless laptop. Trust me, my posting will increase significantly once I can blog from the sofa in front of the television. That's how this whole thing started!

Next - my friend's daughter is recovering from her head injury. She was moved to a rehabilitation hospital on November 15 and she's now learning how to walk (on the treadmill for 10 minutes the other day before she got tired), how to talk (she still searches for words), how to eat (solid food for the first time in over a month), etc. It was very frustrating at first, but now each day there is more and more positive news.

Okay, that's going to have to do it as it is 8:59 p.m. and I'm going to go watch The Biggest Loser. Ta-ta for now!

Still Swirling

The whirlwind is still blowing.

Sometimes I've wondered - do I write more when I'm happy or when I'm sad? I think I definitely have tended to write/journal more during the sad times of my life. Interestingly enough, there have been times when I thought I was happy and wrote a lot, but looking back, those were actually bad times for me. So I think the answer is that I write more during the bad times.

So my lack of posting could actually be seen as a good thing.

To catch you up on where I've been ... the weekend before Halloween I went to Wyoming with my friends Susan and Julie. It was a great trip. All we did was eat, sleep and sit. But the sitting was on the airplane and in the car - we traveled a lot. Managed to get to Yellowstone, a first for me. I'm really glad we went in October and avoided the crowds.

So we had a great trip, but on our return, I got some bad news. My friend Susie (not to be confused with Susan) called to say that her ex-husband and children had been in a car accident. Her ex and son were fine, but her daughter was in intensive care with a head injury. As soon as I landed I went to the hospital. They had her in a medically induced coma and it was shocking to see her.

I actually hadn't seen her in a few years, and she is now 14 years old and a freshman in high school. She's not a little girl any more - she's a young woman. And there she was with all of her hair shaved off and she was swollen from the fluids they were pumping into her and she had all of these tubes ... and she was there for 16 days. Late last week they moved her to a rehabilitation hospital. I don't actually know the exact diagnosis/prognosis. She's in there, she's out of the coma now and she seems to comprehend what Susie says to her, but she can't seem to make her body work anymore.

She's learning how to sit ... how to hold her head ... how to swallow ... how to walk ... how to even reach up and scratch an itch. She has to start all over. Susie has been visiting her every day, and she's just exhausted. I have offered to do whatever she needs me to do - cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, whatever. So far, I haven't been able to do anything but offer.

I don't have children, but Susie's kids are special to me. We were neighbors when they were born (they are twins, a boy and a girl) and the only time I stopped taking my weekly yoga class was when I babysat the twins for Susie when she was taking a class. Susie was so calm and collected when she called me with the news, and I held my composure until she said "I wanted you to know because in a way they are your babies too." That's when I lost it.

And yet, I'm sure I can't even begin to experience the depth of emotions that Susie must be feeling. To have your child, a piece of you, go through this suffering and not be able to do anything about it. It's just a waiting game. This little girl will recover, eventually, but it will take a long time.

So every day I check the web site where Susie journals her daughter's progress, and I think of her, and I pray that she's able to make a full recovery. I'm trying to think positively and count my blessings, but it's going to be hard to be thankful this year when someone I care about is in pain.

Whirlwind

First of all, thanks to Sue and Deb for guest posting for me.

I love, love, LOVED Sue's speculations, and it's been far too long since I've seen Brian's backside. The truth of the matter is, I did go on an exciting trip to get a boob job (I worked hard for the money to pay for it) and I was thinking of new blog posts.

Anybody want to guess where I went?

Venus as a boy

I* like to think of Fear Not as "my other blog". To that end, I feel that lately, it has been lacking in the number of photos of Brian's backside**. This post shall remedy that situation!



* I am Scooterdeb from Cheaper Than Therapy
** I wonder if she'll ever speak to me again when she reads this?

Kenna Has Left The Building

... but would you notice unless I told you so?*

I'm hoping her request to have some of us step in and guest blog for her means she hasn't forgotten the blogsphere is still here. I've been speculating on what she can be doing while she's away. **

• She is writing a novel
• She went on another one of her exciting trips
• She is moving
• She and The Man are eloping
• She is getting a boob job
• She is 'finding herself'
• She is thinking of new blog posts to regale us with when she returns

Feel free to add your two-cents' worth!

* I am Sue from The Torn Pages
**I wonder if she'll ever speak to me again when she reads this?

The Heat Is On

I turned it on Sunday. I didn't want to get out of a nice hot shower and step into a 57 degree house. So, I made it until October 14.

Random

Where do I start?

1) What's with the raids on Anna Nicole Smith's doctors' offices/homes? And the talk of digging her up? Didn't they already do an autopsy? Let the poor girl rest in peace.

2) Just watched Deal or No Deal which I declared a losing proposition back in December 2005 (my God, has it already been on that long?) and they were trying so hard to give away a million dollars that they gave the contestant eight chances. And she picked a million dollar case! But sold it for $115,000. I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make with this, but she took the deal because her friends/family advisors told her it was guaranteed and she could invest it and turn it into $1 million. I hope she does.

3) Ann Coulter is a fucking whack job. Good for Donny Deutsch for challenging her. The scary part is that he said he thought she didn't do it intentionally, that she really didn't think she was saying anything wrong, that she wasn't saying it just to be extreme and get attention. Yeah, that's my point. She's a fucking whack job. There. Someone had to say it.

4) I joined the gym and last night I went to a class called Reduce Your Assets. My assets are killing me today.

5) Today is October 12 and I still have not turned on the heat in the house. My hands are cold as I sit here at the keyboard. The temperature is dropping and I don't know if I'll make it through the weekend without turning the furnace on. I made it until October 14 last year, and October 19 the year before that. Stay tuned to see how long I hold out this year.

Worst. Migraine. Ever.

I've had two others this bad, but this one was the worst. At least the other two were preceded by a drunken night of partying (and were, most likely, alcohol poisoning and not migraines). But this. Pure unadulterated hell. And I can't pinpoint a specific reason.

I had gone out after work and nursed one beer in the local brewery for two and a half hours. Came home at 8:00 or so and made a quesadilla using leftover chicken. Maybe it was bad yeast in the beer. Maybe it was bad chicken. But to wake up in a cold sweat with a headache? I tried taking my migraine medication, but threw it up. Managed to go back to sleep for awhile, but couldn't kick the nausea or the headache. Lost track of how many times I hurled.

At one point I thought was throwing up the guacamole I had put on the quesadilla, but I think it was just the bile from the bottom of my stomach. Nice, bright fluorescent green. Really astounding. Couldn't keep anything down. Not even a banana which was the fix on the last two massive migraines.

Eventually, it worked its way through and I was able to keep down some toast and banana. Around 6:00 I took more migraine medication, but stayed in a prone position most of the day. A pity too. It was a nice day and I completely missed it. Still moving in slow motion today.

Who Knew?

So I just logged on to my online savings account and I realized that I could view my statements. And when I clicked on the link I saw that I could always view my statements and that, in fact, I was supposed to have been receiving statements all along, but the email bounced. So I started going back and viewing and saving the old statements and there it was.

1099-INT.

Attached to the December statement. Which I never got. And therefore never submitted as part of my tax return. So yes, I admit it. I failed to report $35 in interest income. I just updated my email address. It shouldn't happen again.

In other news, I kept getting these PC Tools error messages so I decided to download the most recent program and run the full scan on my computer. That was three hours and 88,000+ files ago. The good news is that the number of infections found? Zero. Of course the computer hadn't been plugged in or turned on for 162 days so ...

Yes, it's time for a new 'puter.

SpamAlot

In the past 30 days my gmail account has accumulated 1,394 pieces of spam.

That's Just Wrong!

So this couple we know, they're getting married. And I just got invited to the shower and since we're not going to the (destination) wedding, I have to put in an appearance at the shower and represent, you know?

Now, I know that things have evened out in the shower and wedding department lately. Sure, you'll still see people register for towels and linens and silverware and blenders and throw rugs and draperies and the like, but now the guy gets to ask for a few things he would like too.

It's not just Macy's and Bed Bath 'N Beyond or Target and Kohl's where you register. You can register at home supply stores, like Lowe's, too.

But riddle me this .... would you put this on your wedding registry? Yes, there it is. A 16" gas chain saw for $199.00. Oh, I think I'll add that to my cart!

Can you imagine? How cool would that be if I showed up at the shower and gave them the chain saw as my gift? "Hope you have a wonderful life together and I really don't want to know who intends on using this or how ..."

And yet, somehow, if you knew this couple, you would think it totally appropriate. Yeah, I really don't have an extra $200 so I think they'll be getting the $49 chafing dish instead.