Saturday, March 31, 2007


I thought calling a woman a "cougar" was a derogatory thing, but apparently this grrl is proud of who she is.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Crisis management.

Why is that once I decide to cease blogging, I suddenly need an outlet to vent?

Kenna, thank you so much for letting me spout off here!

The other day I attended a Girl Scout leader training class. At one point, the crowded room was filled with noise from the multiple conversations going on. We'd been discussing girls in our troops with special needs. I mentioned to the woman next to me that one of my Girl Scouts had been diagnosed as clinically depressed years ago and had tried to commit suicide. This was an eight-year-old, mind you! Anyway, the woman's response was to confess that she, herself, had recently attempted suicide and had just gotten out of some sort of care facility. She concluded by saying it had been a "nice little $16,000 vacation."

I was a little taken aback, to say the least. I fumbled for the best respond I could muster, asking, "You're doing much better now, right?" She said she was but she thought her meds dosage needed increasing.

Today I mentioned all this to Celia, my neighbor/friend/writing partner. Celia reacted with shock and the first thing she asked me was, "Did you report her?"

What? Report her to who?

Celia informed me I should have questioned the woman's position as a Girl Scout leader and that I should have immediately reported what the woman told me to someone above us. We debated this for a bit before, blessedly, the subject changed and we returned to our writing.

But I was so rattled and dismayed over Celia's reaction for several reasons:

1. It seems such a brutal thing to do - to immediately "tattle" on the woman for suffering depression, to question her ability to manage as a GS leader.

2. Why cause the woman even more strife and stress??? And why take away something that she enjoys doing?

3. Shouldn't girls (at least older ones) know that depression is a mental illness that can be managed? Couldn't there be some positives to this?

4. I have an appointment this Thursday to speak with a doctor about my own depression. Celia's reaction, her thoughts on this woman's condition versus her ability to function as a leader . . . it hit home! I wanted to blurt out, "I've been horribly depressed - do you think I should step down as a Girl Scout leader? Are you going to report me?"

It was all very distressing for me; I could barely manage to continue working with her this morning, I so desperately wanted to escape, to go curl up in a ball and cry.

And seriously: if someone had confessed such a thing to Celia in a similar situation, would she have reported her? Or would she have questioned her further, made sure the woman had a good support system in place? After all, troops are required to have a minimum of TWO leaders. It's not like the other leader would stand by while the depressed, suicidal one handed out razors and taught the troop how to properly slice open a vein.

Man, I wish I'd come up with that argument for Celia when she was scolding me for not tattling! I hate that I'm so slow to react, that my clever responses hit me hours too late.

Any thoughts on this? What would you have done in either situation: first the woman confiding in you about her depression/suicide attempt and Celia's reaction? I'd like to know.

Thursday, March 22, 2007


I hesitated doing this because I loved seeing that last post so much that I didn't want to displace it. I get a kick out of coming home, checking my bloglines and seeing that somehow a new post has mysteriously been placed on my blog! Maybe I should get me some more guest bloggers.

By the way ... the iPod? Haven't touched it since that last post.

Oh - hang on a minute. I forgot that my dinner was in the toaster oven and I need to go check on it.

Okay. I'm back. I changed the batteries in my smoke detector and I didn't want to burn the dinner and have the smoke detector go off. I'm shoveling food in my mouth because I have to be at a meeting in half an hour. I'm sure there will be some food at the meeting, but I don't want to count on it, and chances are it will just be nibblies. I'm missing out on dinner with The Man for this meeting, so it had better be good, dammit.

Enough about Kenna's iPod.

It's been days and that iPod post was still up. DAYS, I tell you.

Let's talk about something else. Like, my eye.

Three days ago it felt like something was in my eye, wedged in between the eyeball and the lower lid. I pried it open and looked but saw nothing out of the ordinary, other than it looked slightly redder than normal.

Three days later, I wake up and it's puffy and I'm a little nervous. What if I lose my eye due to a raging infection of some sort? Eyelid Cancer? Would I choose to wear a patch or get a glass eye? I called the doctor to see if they could squeeze me in and they could NOT. I had to wait until the evening urgent care hours and then the doctor announced it was simply "An Irritation." I'll tell you what's an irritation. Waiting all day to see the doctor, driving thirty minutes to urgent care only to find out the urgent care hours didn't start for another hour, waiting at urgent care for 1 hour, twenty minutes, then waiting in the exam room for another thirty minutes. THAT, my friends, is An Irritation.

He prescribed medicated eye drops, probably an overpriced version of Visine. I can only administer the drops twice a day and they don't seem to help much so, on the pharamcist's recommendation, I also bought some Visine to help soothe the eye. It's become more painful, red and itchy today, but not as swollen.

I've noticed a pattern in my family's health. Every March, without fail, each one of us develops an illness or injury requiring a visit to the doctor or urgent care. My daughter injured her foot early in the month. My husband hurt his back. Then my daughter got the flu. And, finally, my turn, my eye inexplicably develops An Irritation.

What is it with MARCH? I think I hate March. I'm skipping it next year.

Sunday, March 18, 2007


It's taken me hours, but my iPod is now finally up-to-date, and I managed to get some of my music files back on to the laptop. I had to find a helper application to transfer from the iPod back to the laptop. I suppose that there is a way to do it via iTunes, but I didn't have the manual and the laptop moves so slowly that I didn't want to try to access the manual online and try to run iTunes at the same time. But I do want to give the folks at SharePod a shout out, and my voluntary contribution will be forthcoming.

I haven't uploaded my contacts to the iPod yet - first I need to be sure they are up-to-date (I think I'm close) and then I need to go back and find another helper app that I used (and paid for) once upon a time, PalmPod. All this and I still don't know where the actual Palm Pilot is - I'm just using the software on my desktop.

And through it all I kept getting Norton worm warning messages that iTunes was trying to access my machine externally, even when I didn't have the program running. Evil, I tell you, pure evil. The other thing I want to do is find some sort of workout mix for my iPod. Something that will take me through a jog/walk cycle. I suppose I could try to do a mix on my own, but why reinvent the wheel? I'm sure someone has already put together a workout mix that I can download, even if it costs me a few bucks.

So while I've been messing around with the laptop, I uninstalled IE 7.0. Just didn't like the feel of it. Downloaded the latest version of Firefox and I'm good to go. It's been a productive weekend. And now I have to go home and shovel some snow.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

How Stupid Can You Be?

I have several different email addresses, one which I set up to use in conjunction with my (in)famous other blog. Amazingly, Kathryn Kelly seems to think that she has that email address, and she keeps applying for jobs in Long Island:

Date: Sat 17 Mar 2007 01:24:14 PM EDT
Subject: Jobs Applied Kathryn Kelly

Dear Kathryn Kelly,
Thank you for applying through the Long Island Region Online Application System for Educators!
The districts you have applied to will contact you if you are to be scheduled for a personal interview.
You applied to the following jobs:

Math - Secondary
3/17/2007 12:24:14 PM
You have chosen to allow all districts to view your application.
Please note that you can re-enter the system and upload job-specific cover letters
for each job to which you have applied. Click ''Manage My Jobs.''
We appreciate receiving your application and wish you success in your job search.
System Administrator
The Long Island Region On-line Application System for Educators.
Copyright © 2006 P/NW BOCES. All Rights Reserved.

This is not the first time that I've received such a notice. You would think that Kathryn Kelly would get a clue the first time she tried to access this email account and discovered that she could not, in fact, log in.

I wondered if it was just spam, but I've gotten the same notice several times, and it only happens with this gmail account, so I suspect this is a real reply.

If you know Kathryn Kelly, would you please tell her to use another email address when applying for jobs on Long Island?

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Let It Snow

What a pleasant surprise to see that post from Sally! I had given her (and a few other folks) guest blogging privileges when I went on vacation in November and I just never took away their access.

I'm with The Man and we are snowed in for the weekend. One of those lovely late winter storms that dumped 10" overnight. I was expecting weekend guests but the weather caused cancellations so I just came up here last night. I figured if we were going to be snowed in, at least we would be snowed in together. I'll try to post a photo, although with all this snow all you would see is a lot of white. And that's assuming I could get my camera to download.

I'm hoping to work on my laptop today. It's been a year and a half since it worked properly and I was planning on just using it as my iTunes server. Of course, it only has a 20 gig hard drive and a 2001 processor and probably not enough RAM, so no wonder that thing came to a grinding halt. I'd like to get a new one but a) the aforementioned lack of desire to be a Vista guinea pig and 2) I owe $400 in taxes so it's not likely I'm going to have the jack to plunk down on a new computer any time soon.

But it's all good. More later, I'm sure.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Surprise guest post!

Just because my blog is on a brief hiatus doesn't mean I can't post over here at Kenna's blog. Right?

You get used to using your blog as an outlet when you're frustrated or down. Or even as a place to post good news, get feedback or just sort of socialize. Maybe I'm going through a bit of withdrawal. That's why I'm over here.

Why is my blog on hiatus, you ask. Or maybe you wanted to ask but were afraid to. Or maybe you just don't care. Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

I'm burnt out (or is it burned out? I don't even care. Well, obviously I care because I question my word usage. But I'm trying not to care.) I don't feel I have any fresh offerings for my adoring public, all 11 of them (and I think I'm exaggerating the numbers a bit in my favor.) I'm all whiny and "boo-hoo, I can't find a job" and "Wahh! Nobody likes me!" and "Tsk, my neighbor annoys me!" God, how can those 11 people even stand it?! How is it none of them have gouged out their eyes with toothpicks so they won't have to read another bit of crap from me? I don't know. Maybe they HAVE gouged out their eyes and then promptly bought computers for the blind, the kind with Braille keyboards and a sexy automated voice to read aloud whatever is on screen. I'm not sure how it works but I'd like to know.

Where was I? God, I hope Kenna deletes this. She'd be completely justified - I'm tainting her blog with my drool-flecked blabbering.

Why does a person put their blog on hiatus and then pop on over to buddy's blog to corrupt it? I'm depressed, that's why. I'm unhappy and misery loves company so I'm generously sharing.

There are other reasons - for the hiatus, I mean. Not for corrupting another person's blog. I have no further reasons for that. Sorry Kenna. But I won't go into that now. I'll save that for another late night pity party/buddy blog corrupting fest.

Later taters!!


In the past 30 days my gmail account has accumulated 1,851 pieces of spam.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

And Another Thing ...

I knew I didn't want to upgrade to new Blogger.

And I definitely don't want to be one of the first to suffer with Vista, but if I buy a new computer now that sucker is bound to be loaded with it.

Anyway ... I totally hate that Blogger is connected and tied in to my Google account. Now, in order to post here, I have to log out of my real gmail account and then log in to my Kenna Fearing account. Just a royal pain in the ass.

Just Do It

I'm having a fairly productive day. Instead of sitting around thinking about all the things I should be doing, I'm actually doing them. So, instead of producing a list of things to do, today I proudly present you with the list of things already done:

1) Get up
2) Take medication
3) Go to the grocery store
4) Fix healthy breakfast
5) Make carrot salad
6) Bake cookies
7) Do the dishes
8) Catch up on old episodes of Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210 on SoapNet (done while accomplishing # 5, 6, 7 - I am a multi tasker!)
9) Phone in regrets for next Wednesday's women's group meeting
10) Phone prospective members for women's group
11) Check out my Coke rewards code online
12) Make plans to go to a gathering with The Man
13) Do two loads of laundry
14) Send resume and cover letter to Dan for his input
15) Further tweak said resume and cover letter; compile list of references

... and so much more to come!

Dear Palm ...

... thank you so much for the following reminder:
You are receiving this product-related message because our recordsindicate that you have purchased and/or registered a Palm device.

Daylight Saving Time (DST) begins March 11, 2007 -- three weeksearlier than last year. DST will also last one week longer in thefall as well, changing back to standard time on November 11, 2007.

To help your calendar events and email reflect these new DST changes,please visit the link below to download the DST update for all Palm(R)devices. Remember, your device will NOT update automatically, so please download this update from before March 11:

Unfortunately, I don't even know where my Palm is. I haven't used it in like, two years. I figured out how to download my contacts onto my iPod and I haven't updated my address book since (in case you were wondering why you hadn't heard from me).

But if I do find my Palm, I'll be sure to reprogram it with the correct date and time.

Dear CareerBuilder ...

... what makes you think I am interested in this job?

US-NY-Upstate 10 Trucking Jobs Open - Training Available - Upstate, New York DriverCareers

Oh. Wait. It was a sign and I missed it.

I've been getting these job alerts for a month now (except initially they had 12 jobs and now they only have ten; must have filled a few positions) and I didn't realize it was a sign.

See, if I were a truck driver then I would have won the lottery.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Late To The Party

Someone was indulging in a selfless lack of self-promotion. Glad I finally caught up with you, Scooterdeb.

Empty Handed

Okay, so long time no post.

As most of you know, I am not a Georgia truck driver, and I do not purchase my liquor in southern New Jersey. Hence, I still cannot make use of my previously claimed blogspot, The Mega Millionaire. As soon as I hit the jackpot, the posting shall commence. But thanks for the love anyway. It helped me get through a frigid (single digits and below zero - in March!) week.

It was a busy week at work and it will continue to be busy for at least another month until we can fill an open position. Of course, by the time they fill that position I hope to be moving on. I did not get the job I interviewed for last month, and I subsequently received a less than stellar review at work. I have since transitioned into a new role, and I continue to pursue other opportunities that might be a better fit for my talents and skills.

Because yes, I remind myself, I do have talents and skills! Actually, I'm excited about a position I saw posted last weekend. It would be very similar to the job I left in 2005 but in a different capacity. I'm hoping they see the parallels as clearly as I do. Not being too cocky here, but I can't imagine not getting an interview for this job. I will keep you posted.

Again, thanks for the comment love.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Love, Love, Love

Send me some comment love. Didn't win the jackpot last week and the Mega Millions jackpot is now $346 MILLION DOLLARS. That's $346 MILLION DOLLARS!

John was a bit late last week but I'll consider it an early display of affection for this week. (Should you choose, however, to leave even more comment love, then you just might be in for a bigger share of el jackpot.) Even Scooterdeb came out of hiding to share some love, so come on, y'all, leave a little love!

And now for something completely different.

I went to another funeral over the weekend. One of the ladies who belongs to my women's group died last week. She was 51 years old. She had a stroke at home over the weekend, and her son found her on Sunday when he came over for their weekly Sunday dinner. No one knows how long she had been down. They got her to the hospital and she seemed to be doing well, although one side was paralyzed. Then, suddenly on Wednesday, she died. We're guessing from a second, massive stroke.

This just freaked me (and a lot of other single women) out. I know that sudden illnesses such as this can strike at any time and at any age, but 51 years old? Makes me believe that I totally did the right thing when I took some time off after losing my job.

Live life to the fullest and take advantage of every day, because you never know if it will be your last.


No one wants to accept responsibility any more.