Friday, December 31, 2004

Life Gets In The Way

My posts have really been spotty of late. Life has gotten in the way.

I'm realizing how totally apt my tag line is: On Company Time. I'm not working this week, and it shows in my lack of posts. I've been keeping very busy and despite a small glitch yesterday, have been to the gym every day as planned.

What I didn't plan on was having lunch with Larry on Tuesday ... and then receiving a follow-up invitation for dinner on Wednesday. Followed by a previously scheduled engagement with Michael tonight. This juggling I'm doing? Not very well.

I think Larry is totally cool with everything - he's just having a good time. In fact, he mentioned last night that one of the things he really likes about me is that I'm not too demanding. He has a full life, I have a full life. We try to make time for each other when we can. I think we are both totally comfortable with the relationship as it has developed.

Wish I could say the same thing for Michael. I had such a great time with him last Thursday, but he left on a slightly sour note after I was perhaps a little too blunt and direct with him about my relationship with John. But we got past it ... exchanged a few really heartfelt messages over the weekend, and agreed to get together again tonight. We were both looking forward to it. He finished work early and came over around 2:00 ... he left around 11:00. Yeah - nine hours with the guy.

And just like last week it was going great right up until the end. I can't remember how it happened - probably I mentioned that I had a headache and I commented that I didn't know if it was a migraine (which I frequently get) or a hangover.

"Why would you have a hangover?"

"I had dinner with a friend and we had a couple of drinks."

He kept coming back to it. What did I have for dinner last night? And finally - "Who did you have dinner with last night?" What was I going to do? Lie? I told him I had dinner with my friend Larry and suddenly the mood was dead. He admitted that it shouldn't bother him - we've only been on two dates, it's none of his business who I have dinner with.

But I think it bothers him. I feel badly that the evening ended on a sour note, but I'm not going to apologize for being honest! After he left, Phil emerged and I related the story. It was great having someone here to bounce it off immediately. You know what? It's not my problem. Like I said, we've only been on two dates. Not enough to ask for or expect exclusivity. Am I shopping around? Sure. But he knew that. And how am I going to find out whether or not I click with someone unless I go out and spend time with him?

So there it is. And here I am - up past my bedtime again. Apologies to Deb and Brian for not responding to your emails - I had every intention, but life got in the way.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

I Guess That's Why They Call Them Work Boots

Made good on my promise to myself to keep up with the exercise routine and was at the gym this morning. Several interesting individuals there whom I've never commented on before ... like the guy who wears jeans and work boots. Granted, he's just lifting weights, it's not like he's running on the treadmill or even riding the exercise bicycle, but still - jeans and work boots? Don't you own sneakers and sweats?

And then there's the Johnny Cash wannabe. He wears black jeans and a black long sleeved t-shirt. Every. Single. Time.

Me? Today I wore my red sports bra and my iPod. John Mayer kept me going through 38 minutes on the elliptical trainer and my reps in the basement. Skipped breakfast and had lunch with Larry. Came back here for dessert. Then off to a local restaurant to plan the next big bash. Tonight I need to prepare for an interview. The week will fly by before I know it.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Christmas Without Stockings

I had a wonderful Christmas with my family except for one thing ... no stockings. I had just finished telling Michael (we had a date on Thursday; more later) that stockings are the best part of Christmas. I told him how no matter what was under the tree, somehow the contents of my stocking were always the best part of Christmas.

Our stockings have been with us for years. I think we got them in 1972 when we were in Florida for Christmas. We'd been through a natural disaster, Hurricane Agnes, earlier that year and we were displaced from our home and living in temporary quarters. Mom and Dad decided to take the family on vacation and we drove to Florida and spent some time with some friends that had moved down there. We went to this brand new theme park called Disney World and I was amazed at the rides, especially "It's A Small World" and "The Pirates of the Carribean."

So we had these stockings with our names written in glitter on the white fur. Over the years the contents changed as we grew up, but the stockings were always the best part. In fact, everything I got for my new housemate Phil and his seven year old daughter fit in a stocking. (Gotta love the electronic age when you can put CDs, DVDs and mp3s in a stocking).

So I'm bragging about the stockings, and I come home and there is a small group here on Christmas Eve and suddenly I realize ... no stockings! My parents redid their kitchen this year and there is no longer that crappy paneling with the ledge to which the stockings were always hung. "Where are the stockings?" I asked. My youngest brother looked at me with disdain and said "We haven't had stockings in years - where have you been?"

It's true. My parents don't even have those stockings anymore. But my memories of them are so vivid that I can't remember a time without them.

Somehow I survived the trauma. After all, I got everything I asked for. My brother and his wife came over as did my sister and her significant other and we opened presents here at my parent's house. Then, we went over to my other brother's for dinner and opened gifts with them. Ended the day playing Trivial Pursuit back here at the 'rents.

I've been checking my email every few hours, and no messages ... after my date with Michael, a few issues came up and I've been expecting a response. Turns out he's a bit older than I am, and he's wondering if I have an issue with that. And he's still married - has been separated for seven years, but not legally, and no plans to do so. Maybe that should send up warning flags for me, but you know what? I'm not looking to marry the guy - I just wanted to meet someone who I can spend some time with. He says that's all he's looking for as well, so why can't we just get to know each other a little better and hang out?

And I'm not sure Michael was completely comfortable with my honesty. At one point he even said that I was honest to a fault and maybe I should lie a little to make him feel better. Uh, no. This is who I am - accept it or move on. I told him that, and that is what elicited his age confession, at least in part. I told him that I would be turning 40 next year, and he told me he'll be turning 52. Okay, so he's a bit older than I am. So what? He could pass for early 40s if he wanted to. And from the little bit of time I spent with Larry (who just turned 54), I'm thinking maybe I like older men.

But I've got bigger fish to fry. That job I wanted that's been put on hold? That's fine - but in the meantime, I have another interview with a different company on Wednesday. The job isn't completely defined, but this is the type of company where they often make the job fit the person. They have some needs, but if they find a candidate who can do some but not all of what they are looking for, and the candidate offers something else that they can use, sometimes they just shift job duties to make the job fit the candidate. It works. Imagine that - hiring someone for their strengths and then giving them a job where they can excel and will get satisfaction from their work.

Time for me to get moving - I'm meeting up with some high school classmates for an afternoon of ice skating followed by pizza and beer. I can't skate, but I'll give it a go. Back to the homestead tomorrow and then I'm going to start my New Year's Resolutions early. Maybe by the time the new year hits I'll have developed some new good habits.

Or I'll still be juggling two men and becoming a better liar ...

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Reindeer Games

Rather than emailing this to you individually, I'll put it out here for everyone to enjoy:

Dance, Reindeer - Dance!

And with that I'm off to the official college holiday party - no booze allowed. You can catch me at the corner pub around 3:00.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


So after waiting impatiently all weekend and all day yesterday to hear something back from Larry and Michael, suddenly I have responses from BOTH of them.

Looks like I'll be getting together with Michael Thursday night, and he warned me that he's a slow learner and a second and a third meeting will probably be required.

Larry asked what I was doing for the holidays and let me know that he won't be working between Christmas and New Years and said "maybe we can plan on something right after Christmas."

So now I've got to juggle two men.


An embarrassment of riches.
When it rains, it pours.
If it's not one thing, it's another.

Insert your own trite statement here.

Monday, December 20, 2004


Yes, this is opportunity knocking ... please hold.




Just to bring you all up to date, the job for which I was being considered, the one I so desperately wanted, is being put on hold. They are re-examining the office and its responsibilities before filling the position. I will still be considered, once they determine what they want the person who fills that position to do.

Could be better. Could be worse. I actually have a fairly upbeat attitude about it - perhaps once they figure out their ass from a hole in the ground (did I say that out loud?) the position will be even bigger and better than it was before - with a paycheck to match.

In the meantime, I'll keep flirting with that 70 year old millionaire in the hopes that he'll make a kept woman out of me yet.

A Slow, Painful Death ...

... was wished upon me by Amanda.
What, you think I got nothing better to do than to respond to this quiz On Company Time?
Oh. Wait. You're right. I don't. Here goes:

Three names you go by:
Kenna; Sweetie; KimmerBeth

Three screennames you have:
KimmerBeth; VesperAlley; Spa Girl

Three things you like about yourself:
My legs; My sensitivity; My phone voice

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
Being needy; Not finishing what I started; I have very little patience

Three parts of your heritage:
Irish; German; American Mutt

Three things that scare you:
Failure; Dying a slow painful death; Poverty

Three of your everyday essentials:
Email' Lemon Zinger tea at the office in the morning; My caramel calcium chews

Three things you are wearing right now:
Silk longjohns; Snowflake sweater; Gold hoop w/pearl earrings

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
Los Lonely Boys; Keane; Joss Stone

Three of your favorite songs at present:
Letter Read (Rachael Yamagata); Love Song For No One (John Mayer); Here Without You (Three Doors Down)

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Fame; Fortune; Forgiveness

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Fantastic sex; Cuddling/Snuggling; Intelligence/Respect

Two truths and a lie:
I recently participated in a three-way; I was once arrested for unauthorized use of a motor vehicle; I don't believe in love at first sight

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you:
Intelligence; Nice eyes/smile; Height

Three things you just can’t do:
Get lost; Needles; Cook without a recipe

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Blogging; Planning parties; Lusting after my unrequited love

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Eat some of that 2 # bar of chocolate sitting on the desk down the hall; Hear those magical words "You're hired."; Take a nap

Three careers you’re considering:
bioinformatics; librarian; becoming a kept woman

Three places you want to go on vacation:
the Greek Islands; Australia/New Zealand; Paris

Three kids names:
Amber Brandy; Tequila Rose; Elijah Blue Curacao

Three things you want to do before you die:
Have my 15 minutes; Travel around the world; Have an orgasm

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painful death:
Susan, Michelle, Mary

"Oh, The Weather Outside Is Frightful ...

... and it's a bit nippy here in the office too! Outside temperature is - 1 but with the wind chill factor (WCF) it feels like - 26. Amanda? Jenica? Do you feel my pain?

Friday, December 17, 2004

Finding Me

I don't know why the person who entered this search string chose to scroll through four pages of results and come here when they could have gone right to this result on the first page ...


That was what Phil said when he saw me in my little black dress last night. I don't even think he knew he said it - he just looked up, saw me, and that one little word popped out.

Does a lot for a girl's ego. I went to another mixer and while I did see Larry, he was trying to close a few business deals and so we didn't have a chance to talk. It gave me a chance to chat further with Michael, a man I met at last month's mixer. We ended up exchanging emails and phone numbers, and by the time I got home, Michael had sent me a message saying "it is worth repeating-you looked terrific tonight in that black dress. I would love to hear from you anytime ..."

Every day should be like this - full of compliments and promise.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Round And Round She Goes

T minus one hour and counting ...

I'm about to set off on a round the state tour. First stop, B'ton for overnight and so I can be within driving distance of Ithaca for a breakfast meeting tomorrow. Then back to B'ton for lunch and on to RaChaCha for dinner. Overnight and then back on the Thruway Wednesday morning. Just enough time to stop at the outlets and have lunch with a former co-worker.

No internet tonight, but I will have access at the hotel in RaChaCha Tuesday night. See you then.

Note to Anonymous: I'm free after my business dinner. Catch me if you can. If you dare.

Moose Munch and More - Oh My!

'Tis the season.

If I had more time I'd write a poem to the tune of "Twas the Night Before Christmas." One of our board members shipped a lovely basket of goodies from Harry and David and you should have heard the squeals of delight (mine included). There's Moose Munch, truffles, cherry cordials, mint chocolates, mixed nuts and shortbread cookies. We opened everthing up and sampled it all. And just when we thought we were done, someone went to move the basket and discovered a lower layer of pears.

I love the holidays.

P.S. I got an early Christmas gift from my housemate last night - an iPod of my very own. Talk about squeals of delight!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

I'm All That ...

... and a bag of chips.

[check out my convoluted search of the day]

Friday, December 10, 2004

One Man's Trash ...

... is Kenna's treasure.

The old man across the street must have gotten his Christmas tree and put it up yesterday, because last night he left a garbage can filled with branches out by the curb (the city comes around and picked up yard debris/leaves/branches etc. for recycling). I've wanted a few branches to put in a vase with some floral sprigs, just to have that pine scent wafting through the house, so I snagged several branches and will make my centerpieces this weekend.

I love a bargain - even if it means picking through my neighbor's trash bin.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Bleeping Blogger

Had what I thought was a fairly humorous post, but when I published it, half of a sentence was missing. Which made it not funny. Tried editing and republishing, but again, portion of a sentence was missing.

It's a shame. Now you'll never hear my musings about Dr. Ruth and Sue Johanson.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Ring, Dammit!

I wish the phone would ring. I'm waiting to hear about a second interview for that job I want so badly. I really, really, really want that job. I need something to look forward to.

I've lost sight of my 'self' again - everything seems to be revolving around the impact that external forces have on me. I keep waiting for something to happen to me instead of going out and living my life. It's like my life is one big tease ...

... Here, Kenna, we're gonna give you a new house mate - but wait, he's just not that into you.
... Here, Kenna, we're gonna give you a different love interest - but wait, you're not actually going to be able to see him often, and you'll both run into problems having the other one over because of your house mates.
... Here, Kenna, we're gonna allow you to interview for the job of your dreams - but wait, we're not sure if you're the employee of our dreams.


Guess this is just a mopey post. Y'all know what to do - boil some water for me, please.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Snow's Falling

It started about two hours ago and it's coming down fast and furious. I trudged downtown at lunchtime to mail a package, and as I crunched through the snow I could see that I was the first one to blaze a trail on the sidewalk. It was fun for about two blocks and then the wind shifted and I was walking face first into cold, wet snow. Then as the accumulation built, it began to get slippery underneath. By the time I got back I was wishing I'd driven to work today.

Still waiting for that call-back on the new job. Please, please, please keep thinking good thoughts for me. I'd like nothing better than to get that job even though it means I will probably have to take a pay cut and I'll no longer be able to walk to work. But it would be worth it to have a job where I know I won't be underutilized and under-challenged and where I'll know that I'm accomplishing something each and every day.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Uh-Oh ...

Have been trading increasingly intimate emails with Larry # 2 and this morning in an apparent afterthought he asks:

"PS: Just a question.....I don't know why I feel compelled to ask but....Our emails are not shared on my part....You don't allow anyone to read mind do you?"

Uh-oh. I don't think he knows about this blog (I am using an assumed name) but just to be on the safe side, to protect his privacy and mine, there were be no more posts like this. I owe him that much.

It brings to mind the question we all struggle with on a daily basis - what to share? How much is too much? Would I want my correspondence posted in such a public way? This is why I have so much respect for folks we use their real names and who invite their family and friends to read along. They know that they will be called on whatever they post, and so it forces them to think things through and ask "do I really want to put this out there for the whole world to read?"

I honestly don't think Larry knows about this blog, but if he does, I apologize for sharing what you considered to be a personal and private note, and I won't do it again.

P.S. Going forward, it's just going to be Larry - since Larry # 1 kind of dropped of the face of the earth (actually, I did hear from him after sending him Thanksgiving greetings and he's just been crazy-busy on the road with his job) there's no need to differentiate between the two of them anymore. Now I just need a Darryl - oh wait, that was the other way around - one Larry and two Darryls.

Friday, December 03, 2004

I Don't Think So, Honey

I did a little shopping on my lunch hour and picked up this really cute little makeup tote at CVS. Since moving from my usual bedroom into the downstairs suite, I lost significant bathroom drawer space and I've been looking for something in which to store my cosmetics. There was this adorable little makeup tote - you unclasp the latch and the lid lifts and the bottom two drawers slide out. It's a faux red leather box. Perfect. Filled with cheap-o makeup that I probably won't even use, but I would have purchased it at that price ($19.99) even without the cosmetics.

So I thought I'd try to be nice to the one who is engaged, and I motioned for her to come in and admire my new purchase. I knew that she would find it adorable, because, well, it is. She "oohed" and "ahhed" appropriately and then tried to change the subject.

"So, Kenna, tell me - what's going on; why are you leaving?"

I don't think so. I'm not about to discuss the details of my employment with you, honey. I told her I really didn't want to talk about it right now, and that was the end of that. And then I gave her the two crap-o lip gloss duos and sent her on her way.

First Snow

Got the first snow of the season this morning. No snowplows required. It was just barely cold enough to snow, but there were some big fluffy flakes. If the temperature rises even one degree, this light covering will melt in a flash.

Speaking of flashing ... my life flashed before my eyes as I was walking to work this morning. Some idiot in a blue pickup was racing down the street and as I approached the corner I stopped about six feet away from the curb because I could tell he wasn't going to stop at the stop sign. Either he didn't know it was there or he planned on blowing through it all along because he didn't even begin to touch the brakes until he was about 10 feet away from the stop sign. And then, because the road was wet, he skidded and then just decided to gas through the intersection, giving me a little shrug as he sped on by. If there had been a car coming the other way, I would have had a really great shot to pass on to ScooterDeb for her WWOTW.

Speaking of ScooterDeb ... well, you know what we've been speaking about. Tee-hee. Giggle. Snort. Did you get my package yet?

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I Spat On My Lunch Date

Not on purpose, but at one point I did spew forth a piece of 'pomme frite' that had caught in the back of my throat. I was talking and all of a sudden I coughed and this little piece of chewed french fry was hurtling across the table and into his lap.

How embarrassing.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Is It Over?

Is the day over already? Wow, so this is how it's supposed to be - the time just flies by when you are interested and involved in what's going on around you.

I had my interview this morning, and I think it went very well. Unless my read is totally and completely off, I will be called back for a second interview, possibly as early as next week. I don't want to get my hopes up too high or get too cocky, but I think this is the job for me. It's what I want to do ... it's what I'm good at. Thanks to everyone who sent me good vibes this morning - it worked!

In other news ... having lunch with Larry # 2 tomorrow; looking forward to that. Booked a vacation to Charleston, SC for next April with my Mom. That's about it - going to pack it in and go to the gym. Maybe (maybe, she says) I'll upload some photos tonight. We'll see. Until tomorrow ....