Friday, April 30, 2004

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Carmen - You're Fired

Yes, the ditz from tech/customer support at Dell did indeed screw up. When the return box hadn't arrived by Wednesday, I called AirBorne Express directly. They had no record of my request, but the customer service rep there said she'd take care of it and I'd have the box by noon today. I was out of the office today so I don't know what time it arrived, but it's here. Thumbs up to AirBorne Express. Carmen - not only were you a ditz on the phone, but you were stupid enough to give me your first and last name. Dell is going to get a letter about your customer service skills.

Now let's just hope that computer repair guy has gotten around to putting the monitor back together and pulling the hard drive - I told them to do it on Monday and called and left a message last night telling them that I expected to pick it up first thing Friday morning before heading out of town again.

Ran into a former co-worker at the gas station - he (and several other former co-workers) is working for a new tech company about five miles down the road. Guess which company I'm going to be researching in an effort to create a new job for myself?

The Morning Line

BP: 150/108

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Blogged Down

Is it just me or is everything blogged down today? Pages taken forever to come up, sometimes comments not coming up at all. Worst of all - little or no traffic. Where is everyone?

I think it's interesting that the "homelessatnyu" site is now not just simply overwhelmed - it seems to be gone. Part of the deal in return for that 'free' dorm room ???


Apparently Elton John has come out questioning last week's American Idol results and suggesting that there is some aspect of racism to the voting. Uh, did he happen to see last year's winner?

I don't agree with last week's results either - as I previously stated, America must HATE John Stevens to keep forcing him to go back up and embarrass himself week after week. But I don't think racism is the reason - could it just be American Stupidity? If we keep sticking ourselves with no-talent finalists, the show is going to lose its luster even more quickly than expected.

But Simon Cowell did have the quote of the night (and I paraphrase):

"You and Latin music go together like ice cream and onions."

Ahead Of Their Time

Shout out to Brian and Michael for giving me the heads up on news stories yesterday that are just hitting the mainstream media today.

Yesterday in his blog Brian posted a link to the eBay site where a man is trying to sell his ex-wife's wedding dress. There was a bit on the "Today" show this morning. They reported that bidding was up to $17,000 but a quick look at the bid site says $600,001 - obviously posted by a prankster. [You can't trust any of the numbers I'm quoting as bidding changes constantly. Now it's back down to $500,100 which appears to be a reputable bid.]

And yesterday morning Michael emailed me about the NYU student who has been sleeping in the library since October because he couldn't afford on campus housing - or off campus housing, for that matter. Story hit the news because NYU stumbled upon his online journal (blog?) which is now receiving so many hits that you probably can't even access it ("The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.")

The Morning Line

BP: 135/105

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Here Ye, Here Ye ...

... it's 3:03 and I'm still doughnut free! Time for my afternoon snack. Today's selection: Raspberry Creme Savers Yogurt.

Word of the Day

From Michelle (with a little help from

en·nui n.
Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom: “The servants relieved their ennui with gambling and gossip about their masters” (John Barth).

\En`nui"\, n. [F., fr. L. in odio in hatred. See Annoy.] A feeling of weariness and disgust; dullness and languor of spirits, arising from satiety or want of interest; tedium. --T. Gray.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

n : the feeling of being bored by something tedious [syn: boredom, tedium]

She's feeling it. And I am too. Which is why the losing of the job really doesn't bother (having 15 months notice is a big help). I haven't told Michelle about my impending departure yet. She lives in another city but works for a similar organization and we met each other at a conference and now serve on the same board. I wanted to tell her in person which I may be able to do this weekend.

I think I'm going to pack the blender and margarita glasses. We're gonna need them.

Return of the Doughnuts

The doughnuts are back. Same ones that didn't get eaten yesterday. I think there was some sort of meeting here over the weekend and these are the leftovers. All the more reason not to eat one. Three day old doughnuts. Yum. I won the battle yesterday, and I'm determined to do so again today.

I am stronger than the doughnut.

Will Wonders Never Cease?

The Ex called me last night. He really didn't have much to say but said he wanted to call so he "wouldn't get yelled at again." I asked him if he thought this one call would hold him over for nine months again. I don't want to be angry all the time. All I want is to maintain some sort of friendship. Share the highs and lows. Keep each other posted. We spent too much time together to just pretend the other doesn't exist.

The Morning Line

BP: 140/105

Monday, April 26, 2004

Why Not Indeed?

Someone recently found this blog using the search term "my feet are sweating." I wonder if it was the same person who also found it asking the question "why can't I wear open toed shoes on an interview?" Why not, indeed.

Because you just can't, that's why. No one wants to see your toes, no matter how perfectly groomed they are. You can't wear open toed shoes to an interview for the same reason men can't wear sneakers or boat shoes -- it's just not professional attire. Wear a nice pair of low heeled pumps or flats, but do NOT wear spikey, strappy shoes. Or big huge clunker heels. Wait until you get the job and then once you've scoped out the scene, then decide whether or not open toed shoes are acceptable in your place of work. BTW, I have a friend who works for a power company. She often visits job sites and is required to wear steel toed shoes. Imagine trying to find feminine looking steel toed shoes to go with your sundress - ain't gonna happen.

And on another note - a few others have found this blog looking for answers to problems with their laptops. My advice to you - check the service tag number on the bottom of your laptop and call to see if your unit is still under warrenty! (Side Note to Brian: I haven't received the AirBorne Express box yet ... the customer service rep said it should be here today, but she also said she had problems multi-tasking [swear to God, the ditz actually said that] so I'm not surprised that I haven't seen it yet.)

I Hereby Resolve...

... not to keep putting the birthdays of friends and friend's children whom I do not keep in touch with on a regular basis on my calendar. It's just too much clutter. If I get a birthday card from you, then you'll get one from me. Otherwise, I'm reserving that space on my calendar for more momentus notes like "cleaned the basement" or "fertilized lawn."

P.S. So far I am winning the war with the doughnut.

I Hereby Submit My Resignation

From Just not having any luck and as with my job search, I don't think I'll find the man of my dreams via the internet.

I Am Stronger Than The Doughnut

There's a platter full of doughnuts, scones and muffins less than 20 feet away. I do not need the extra calories. Repeat after me: I am stronger than the doughnut.

I'll let you know at the end of the day whether or not that is a true statement.


So I had spent some time online on Friday and even managed to get a Dell agent on chat, but I didn't have my service tag #. Got it on Saturday and as I was filing some papers yesterday, I flipped through my documentation on the computer and saw a hand written note "three year mail in warrenty." THREE years? Got on the phone with my service tag number and wonder of wonders, my computer is still under warrenty!!!

They are sending me an AirBorne Express box in which I will pack my computer and mail it off. They will replace the monitor and ship it back to me within 3-8 days. At no charge. I'm so excited. Gee, probably should have called in the first place, huh? Duh.

P.S. Comments are back. Talk amongst yourselves ...

The Morning Line

BP: 148/105

Sunday, April 25, 2004


So here I am at the library, blogging away. But Explorer keeps giving me errors and I can't see or post comments - on my page or yours. So I thought, let's go back to my favorite old pal {Netscape}. But it's not here. So I'm sending you this via Mozilla Firefox browser. Let's see if I can view comments ...

... no, no I can't. Probably some super ultra sensitive filters out there. So, Amanda - good job on cleaning the basement. I'll try to tackle mine later this afternoon. Spent Friday night with friend Susan and saw career counselor yesterday. Good news - for $4,950 they'll take me on as a client! Understand, they won't take on just anyone (or so he says). What the heck - I'm gonna go for it. But I will ask current employer to pitch in on the cost. After all, they would spend at least $1,000 each year training me and sending me to conferences. This is a different type of investment but one that will still benefit them. The sooner I find a new job and move on, the sooner they can fill my job and maintain their momentum. Win-win, really. Let's hope they see it that way.

The Morning Line

BP: 150/110

Friday, April 23, 2004

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Do You Think It Would Work?

Wish I had seen and posted this on April 15:

To: Internal Revenue Service
Department of the Treasury
Washington, DC 20001

Enclosed is my 2003 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.

Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.

Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040.

It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.


Another satisfied taxpayer


Forgot to post this ... was watching "Frasier" Tuesday night and there was a scene in the restaurant where he speaks French to the waiter because he didn't want the other gentleman to know what he was saying:

"No menu for the gentleman, he's just staying for one drink."

Turns out the other gentleman was also fluent in French and responded in kind:

"Actually, I'm starved. I will have a menu, thank you."

And then Frasier thought to himself: Merde -- which is, of course, "shit." Love how the censors got that through by using subtitles.

Reality Bites

Just got this message from a high school friend:

"Wow! As I look at the list to send this too – I think of the time that I meet each one of you and how blessed I am with our friendship. I may have talked with you yesterday or 2 years ago, or last saw you 20 years ago [that would be me], but I do know that when we meet again it will be just like picking up from where we left off.

Okay – so, now you want to know why I’m walking down memory lane – I wish that I could call each of you individually, but I would just end up in tears as I am now! I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. It is considered very aggressive and we will treat it to that effect. I have tests scheduled for tomorrow with more needles! Surgery is schedule for May (no date yet), then chemo and finally radiation treatments. We have a very good medical community and the doctors that will be treating me are some of the best or with the best in the field here. I thought I was all done running hurdles years ago, but I guess someone thought I needed to do it again! I look at each step as a hurdle and soon (6 months or so) I will cross the finish line!

I thank you and ask that you say a prayer not only for me, but all the other people this nasty cancer affects and their families and friends."

And her 39th birthday is Saturday. Makes my laptop problems and job loss 14 months hence seem rather insignificant now, doesn't it?

Bright Spot

I totally forget to mention that on Monday I FINALLY found a pair of red shoes. The right shade, the right heel and the right price - on sale for $19.99.

And on the flip side ...

What were they thinking? How could John Stevens still be in the competition? America must really hate him to force him to get up and humiliate himself week after week.

The Morning Line

BP: 150/104

Wednesday, April 21, 2004


Apparently I have a "car tan" (more like a mild sunburn) from my three hour drive this morning.

It's going to cost me over $400 to get my laptop monitor repaired.

I'm starving; eating the last packet of Kashi cereal in my desk.

I really should hit the gym tonight.

I predict that John Stevens will finally get the boot on AI tonight.

I have been here in the office for two hours and all I managed to accomplish was checking my email and doing internet searches for the needed part for my laptop (SKU = 46YYG). The best I could come up with was a part on EBay (not crazy about that) and a company in England (wonder what those shipping charges would be like?). It's a goddam conspiracy. Granted it's a part with limited life (no one expects their household light bulbs to last forever) but do you think that I can find that part myself? How is it that Dell gets all the parts they need to build their disposable computers in the first place? Do they pay the parts manufacturers not to advertise or make the parts available to anyone but them? And why won't Dell just sell me the damn part? Can't find it anywhere on their friggin' web site either.

I'm just being super tight with my money knowing that in 14 months I will no longer have a job here. And it's probably going to cost me several thousand dollars if I end up working with this "career counselor." But think of it this way - it's an investment in myself. If I can find a career (notice I said career, not job) that will be even more challenging and satisfying, then it will be worth the time, effort and money.

But I just hate to spend money. Unless it's on a really cool Donna Karen (DKNY) camel colored double breasted jacket for 1/4 of the original price ($100 vs. $400). I couldn't not buy it.

The Morning Line

BP: 140/110

Monday, April 19, 2004

The Morning Line

BP: 145/105

Laptop still out of commission. Took today off and traveling tomorrow. Back online on Wednesday.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

I Hate Library Computers

It is taking, literally, a minute for each fscking page to load. And the keyboard can't keep up with my typing. I have GOT to get my laptop fixed. I may even buy an external monitor just to keep me going until I can fix the internal screen. I can't tolerate this shit.

And someone is in the stacks, snoring.

The Morning Line

BP: 145/110

Saturday, April 17, 2004

A Weight Has Been Lifted

So after driving three hours south, making three visits and driving three hours north again yesterday, I decided enough is enough. I confronted the Ex.

Drove by the house on my way back to town and saw his car in the driveway. Went around the corner and called to be sure he was alone and that he wasn't expecting anyone. Stopped by. Saw my cat for the first time in eons and of course he remembered me. And of course the Ex still hasn't taken him to the vet since before I left almost four years ago (can it be that long? Why have I still not recovered from this? I'm the one that left!).

Told him that I knew he had a new job and why didn't he tell me himself? It wasn't on purpose, he just ... had no real reason or answer except to say that the last few times we talked I had seemed angry. I don't recall that at all, but even if I was, so what? And of course I knew - he's an avoider. If there is any conflict or controversy involved, he can't handle it. Which is why he hasn't taken the cat to the vet - he's afraid that there is a chance that something might be wrong, and he can't handle it. He's an emotional cripple. No, wait. He's emotionally dead.

So why am I upset by this? Maybe it's because I couldn't bring him to life. I spent what, almost thirteen years with the guy, and while he goes through the motions, he doesn't really FEEL what is going on around him.

I let myself get sucked into his game. I stopped contacting him because he hadn't contacted me. It was a vicious circle. I even said to myself at one point, maybe he hasn't contacted you because you haven't contacted him. But that's not totally true. I sent him an e-card for Christmas, and another for his birthday in early March. He didn't react to, respond to or even simply acknowledge either one.

So why do I bother? This guy obviously doesn't extend himself to anyone - why should I bother extending myself to him? Who knows. Maybe it's guilt. Because I cheated on him. Twice. And even then he didn't react. We just kept leading our parallel lives. I deserve more than that. And I shall have it, dammit.

We ended up going out to get something to eat and eventually the conversation got around to the other people in our lives. I asked if he was still seeing the girlfriend. "Sort of." How in the hell do you sort of see someone? "Well, I work, she works, and she's got the girls. We just don't get to see each other that often." Wow. How/why does she put up with it? Is she that desperate for a man in her life that she'll tolerate sort-of being a part of his life? Apparently. Then again, remember what we're dealing with here, folks -- emotionally dead man.

The Ex asked about John and I told him we weren't seeing each other any more and why. "He was much more commited to the relationship than I was. I told him that I didn't see myself making a commitment to him, and I knew that he was just hoping I would change my mind. It wasn't fair to him so I broke it off." HINT HINT Hello - you've been "sort-of" seeing this woman for three years ... shit or get off the pot.

Deep cleansing breath.

In other news ...

I slept fairly well last night but was wide awake at 6:15 a.m. Got up and went to the gym. Worked up a sweat. Now I'll have to shower before I go volunteer at the habitat for humanity project at 11:00. Haven't made it home yet - stopped in the office to use computer and swap some files.

Laptop still busted. Guy at BestBuy told me yesterday that he can't even order Dell parts. Some shit with their not being preferred providers or whatnot. I really need access to the computer. Will be blogging at the library if I can't get it fixed (don't worry Brian, I won't let a faulty flex cable get in my way - I do appreciate your Paris posts).

Taking Monday off to go to career counselor and career fair. Starting my self-examination in earnest. Got my notice of non-renewal in the mail yesterday.

First great weekend of spring coming up ... I'm going to go out there and make the most of it. Ta for now.

The Morning Line

BP: 150/100

Yesterday's morning line: BP: 160/112

Thursday, April 15, 2004

How Will I Live Without You?

I'm away on a business trip tomorrow and my laptop is still acting up, and then I'm taking Monday off and on a business trip again Tues-Weds. It could be a whole week before I blog again! Don't worry, if I can find a computer with an internet connection, I will blog.

I may take the computer into CompUSA/Best Buy (whatever the hell that big blue box on the corner is) and see if they have the part I need on hand. And bat my eyelashes at them to convince them to replace the part for free on the spot. The unemployed boy next door said they were very helpful to him when he had problems, and my boobs are definitely much bigger than his. Let's just hope the salesperson is a boob wo/man.

And maybe if I'm not connected to the computer I'll get out and do a few volunteer on the local Habitat for Humanity project on Saturday...reseed the lawn and fertilize on Sunday...prepare for my interview with the career counseling firm on Monday...finish reading "The Last Juror"

But first, the season finale of "The Apprentice." I think I want Bill to win, but I suspect that Kwame may get the job. We shall see - stay tuned!

Around Town

Fashion Faux Pas:

Man wearing elasticized tan pants four inches too high (but maybe I'll cut him some slack because he appeared to be mildly retarded)

Man wearing dark suit with white sneakers (this ain't NYC and you ain't a girl, man!)

That's Just Wrong

Two young woman, sitting across the table from each other at the local coffee shop, each with a cell phone pressed to her ear and engaged in conversation with an unknown person (so nice seeing you - let's do lunch again real soon)

The Morning Line

Can you believe it? I totally forgot to take my blood pressure this morning. Could it have been that I was still trying to recover from the sharp stabbing pain in my head that forced me to stumble to the bathroom at 3:00 a.m. and injest a handful (okay, four) of ibuprofen? Or the fact that it hurt to even open my eyes. A lesser person would still be at home nursing this bad boy of a migraine, but no, here I am. I don't even want to know what my blood pressure is today.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

My Monthly Headache

Yes, it's that time of the month again. Popped 600 mg of ibuprofen upon awaking and feels like it's time to rinse and repeat. Of course, the weather doesn't help. But I must say that I saw a bit of green in the grass this morning - rain is a necessary evil. And it's supposed to get up to 70 degrees this weekend - yippee! I'll be out in my rented yard, raking and reseeding. Yes, some fresh air and exercise will do me good.

Makes Me Think Of Tom

I had a friend, Tom, who used to appreciate a good pun. So I thought of him today when I received these:

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess- nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!

P.S. Tom was the "I" in my PIE - I never did tell that story, did I? Someday.

The Morning Line

BP: 145/108

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Was It Just My Imagination?

Or did I see Phil's car(s) everywhere I turned today? He's away on vacation, so I know it wasn't him, but I saw a van like his and then around the very next corner, a sassy little red convertible. He's on my mind because when we had lunch last Thursday he mentioned that things are very rapidly coming to a head in his relationship. His wife was threatening to not even go on this vacation, and he considered not going either ("you can't imagine the damage she could do while I'm gone") but then decided that he needed the break and maybe a week without her would do him some good. Besides, they were going to be staying with his family down south, and his daughter was looking forward to it.

I didn't tell him that whatever damage he was imagining had probably already been done.

I had copies of all important paperwork long before I moved out. I knew exactly what assets we had and how I wanted to split things up. She's already hired an attorney for chrissake - it's about time he work up and smelled the coffee. His marriage is OVER.

And Now My Comments Are Gone

I'm telling you, this Mercury in retrograde is really screwing things up.

UPDATE: And just like that, they are back. Go figure.

Fantasia Is My Friend!

So a week or so ago I joined Friendster and went looking for friends. Some creative types were out there masquerading as well-known celebrities such as Fantasia Barrino and Chandler Bing (you know, from "Friends") and so I asked Fantasia and Chandler to be my friends. And what do you know - I heard that Fantasia did indeed agree to be my friend. I am blessed.

UPDATE: But wait - there's more! Chandler is my friend too. Now I'm just waiting on Shirley Ann. Ah, my growing "Circle of Friends."

Insert Your Favorite Expletive Here -->

You name it, I said it last night. Cracked open the laptop and reseated the flex cord. All seemed well for half an hour, and then I rebooted. And the problem reoccured. Reseated that damn thing again and again and the longer I fiddled with it the worse it got. Haven't heard back from Dell tech support so I'll research the user forums again. Next step: replace the back light and/or inverter. I really didn't need this right now. But I do need a functioning computer, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it. Cover your ears.

The Morning Line

BP: 150/100

Monday, April 12, 2004

Catostrophic Predictions

More from the unemployed boy next door:

"Another predictive tool I keep an eye on is astronomical in nature. AI is shorthand for Astro Indicator and is a mathematical measure of planetary harmonics and their affect on solar energy. Not to bore you, but today's AI is very high, probably the highest yet this year. This high energy invariably results in a major earthquake somewhere, between now and a week from now. We'll see."

Mercury Is In Retrograde

And that's why my computer is acting up according to the unemployed boy next door. That or it's a known bug which, according to the Dell user forums, may very well be the case. I need to "reseat" my flex cable and/or replace the backlight and/or inverter. But that's the beauty of the unemployed boy next door - lots and lots of time for him to read manuals and troubleshooting guides and then fiddle with the hardware at no charge. Oh, sure, I'll take him out to dinner some night to thank him, but it sure beats paying the price at CompUSA or whichever other computer retailer I'd ultimately have to visit if he can't fix it for me.

The Morning Line

BP: 145/110

Was offline over the weekend as my parents and brother were visiting. Went to surf yesterday after they left and ran into problems with my laptop - display is zapping out on me. Heavy sigh.

Friday, April 09, 2004

RSVP by May 2, 2003

Uh, guess I'm a little late in responding to that invitation. I'm sure I kept it because I wanted to circulate here at work and just never did. Or I circulated it, it came back to me and for whatever reasons I failed to throw it away. Because I'm a packrat. Why am I so attached to paperwork? I also have a 2004 calendar here that I'm not using, but I couldn't throw it away. Wait. That's ridiculous. If I'm not using the damn thing, and I didn't pay for it (which I didn't), then why can't I throw it away? The answer is I can. I just did.

Why is it that I get an energy surge in the afternoon? It's like I'm asleep until 3:00. We got a notice saying we could all go home early for the weekend, and here I am suddenly trying to plow through my piles.

Who Turned Off My Cookies?

Used to be I'd hit certain sites and I'd start to enter my username and password and ye olde computer would offer me similar past entries so I didn't need to fill it all in. Now - not so much. Not really sure if it's a cookie issue or not, but it's kind of a pain. I mean, who can remember which freakin' email account I used for which purpose and is it my chosen password or something random that I can remember unless I look it up (and good luck finding it then)? Ugh.

Lunch at Pizzeria Uno is sitting in my stomach like a piece of lead.

Killing Time

Well, I've been here in the office for over an hour and haven't done anything for my employer yet, so I might as well enter a few thoughts. Come to think of it, it they are willing to have me show up and not do anything, then I LOVE MY JOB!

Missed most the "The Apprentice" last night because my friend PK called. He's the one who helped me find my cute little rented house. He's also the one who has helped the Ex find his last three jobs. And he offered to help in my job search too. Heck, he even has a job he could hire me for right now, but he thinks I want to make more than $23K. Uh, yeah. But wouldn't it be awkward working at the same company as the Ex? "Why would it be?" PK asks. There are 400 people working there. No one would even have to know that we were once married. Good point. I won't rule it out. But I doubt it will come to pass.

Took one of those little Tickle tests online. Says I'm analytical and creative. True. But what can I do to get paid for my analytical and creative mind? That is the question.

One last thing - shout out to the writers at "ER" for finally coming up with a complex storyline. I was shocked and stunned when the episode ended last night with Sandy's family claiming custody of Henry, the child borne by Sandy but parented by both Sandy and Carrie Weaver. Very interesting issue.

The Morning Line

BP: 140/105

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Conversation With Susan

ME: decided to hold out and have not applied for the job back home. After having lunch with Mary and talking about all the changes I've already made in my life, I realized that many of the changes have been a result of running away from problems. If I applied for the job back home, I'd just be running away from dealing with the real issue which is - am I in the right field? Yes, I could easily transfer my focus to [job I decided not to apply for] but is that really what I want to do?

I don't know the answers, and that scares the living daylights out of me, but I don't need to be in a rush. I need to take my time, evaluate my interests and skills, decide how I want to make a living, and then pursue suitable opportunities. And the other thing I decided was that I was going to focus my efforts in this area through the end of the year. If I don't find anything by the end of the year, then I will broaden my job search to other locations. But first, I need to decide WHAT I want to do.

SUSAN: Sounds like an excellent plan. The hardest part is figuring out what you want to be when you grow up. I still don't know, so don't feel badly if it isn't crystal clear to you either. Besides, any plan that will keep you in this area is a good one as far as I'm concerned.

[This post brought to you by virtue of the fact that I just set up a work-related appointment and I felt the need to congratulate myself by doing something personal on company time.]

Oh To Be Young And Stupid

The naive young woman in my office was just overheard to be talking about how many pairs of shoes she would need to pack for a business trip next week. She thinks four. Fortunately, the one about to be married spoke up and said, "No, just take one pair of pumps and pack your clothes to coordinate."

The Morning Line

BP: 145/105

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

I'm Lovin' It

So I joined for giggles and shits, and I'm getting my money's worth. Just asked Fantasia Barrino and Chandler Bing to be my friends. Oh, and the president of a nearby university. Yeah, me and Fantasia and Chandler and Shirley Ann Jackson - we're tight.

Chocolate Buzz

A client sent a box of chocolates for staff to enjoy and I have now had at least four pieces. Building a very good chocolate buzz. Must punish myself by going to the gym.

In Good Shape

Had lunch with Mary and she reminded me of something - with the exception of my car loan, I am debt free. Of course, put my car loan, rent, utilities and food together and it costs me a bare minimum of $1,500/month just to keep my ass on this planet. Amazing, isn't it? And I don't live that extravagantly. But wait - this was supposed to be a cheerful post reminding myself that I am in good shape.

More wisdom from Mary: "Remember, when a door closes a window opens...or some such crap..."

You know, I'd really like to just be a kept woman. Feed me, clothe me, give me a little spending money and I'll be happy. Had dinner with two attorneys last Thursday and they both told me - make sure the next man in your life is rich! I'd like to think that women have progressed beyond the point of just looking for a man to take care of them, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that right now the idea appeals to me just a little bit.

Trust Me, It's For Your Own Good

(Courtesy of the 'executive secretary' in office who wears a pound of eyeliner and mascara each and every day):

Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again. Please raise
your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I
wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and
touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs.  And the sides and
tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.  I
will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother,
sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back in to place
hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.
Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price
of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This
is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others.  No one can walk
properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone
down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and
begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks
me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that
her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work
and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip
and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to
slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and
have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny).I say spend
another $15.00 and get a even better one.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of
wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...

For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other

Jenica's Grieving

And I don't know what to do. I feel for you, JP, even though I've never met you. I have not yet experienced the death of a close family member, and this is something that shouldn't have happened to you. Not yet. You're too young. And yet you are wise beyond your years. I was so moved by what you wrote about your dad last night. I'm sitting here in my office trying to hold back the tears and getting frustrated because I don't want to hold back my emotions. And I'm conflicted and confused because I don't know who I'm crying for - you or me. I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself, because you obviously have so much more to deal with right now and I should be able to get myself together and get through the day because my problems are nothing compared to yours. And yet we should never compare our feelings to anyone else's or think that we "should" feel this way or that way.

As I was getting ready to leave for work, Katie Couric was interviewing Anna Quindlen and she mentioned a column that Quindlen had written on grief. I tried to find it for you, but I couldn't. But they talked a little bit about how people react to Quindlen's column, and how many letters and emails she gets and why do you think it's so? Quindlen said something that rang true for me (and I'm paraphrasing here) -- it's about connecting. So many times you think that you are all alone, that you're the only one out there feeling the empty nest syndrome [or whatever the emotion may be] and then you read an article or watch a television show that perfectly captures your thoughts and feelings. And you are so thankful that someone was able to put your feelings into words.

And you know that you are not alone.

You're not alone, Jenica. I'm thinking of you and sending you the love and support you need to help you get through this incredibly difficult time. You're stronger than you know. And it's okay to cry, so go ahead and let the tears flow.

The Morning Line

BP: 130/98

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Guess What I Had For Dinner?

Fruit and chocolate. Strawberries were $1.98/pound in the grocery store and I had a braeburn apple that has been waiting patiently to be eaten. Heated up the remainder of the Irish Cream Chocolate sauce from the dinner two (was it two or three?) weeks ago and dipped to my heart's content.

Sent one resume and am holding off on sending a second - debating about whether or not to apply out of the area at this point. I do have time, so perhaps no sense applying for a job in another area until I determine that I'm not going to find what I want here. I do love my little house.

Reminder to Self: Save As Draft

Well, here I am, composing a lovely cover letter to send to a local company, and I went to minimize a window and **POOF!** it disappeared. On the positive side, I did save my updated resume.

Lord, Help Me Get Through The Day

So I'm here at work, trying mightily to do my job. I just had a conversation with an 86 year old woman who was in a bad auto accident and had a hip fracture. It's a day to day struggle for her, but she did have her annual fund envelope close at hand and she will send in the little bit that she can afford - the "widow's mite" as it's known to those of an older generation. And can you believe it? I had the nerve to ask her if she would be willing to leave us anything as a bequest.

I am slime.

Response from the unemployed boy next door:

They must have had you in mind when they passed those telemarketing laws :) Shameless. Consider yourself lucky if you get out of there with your dignity intact and your karma not too badly messed up. And thank your boss for pushing you out with a parachute -- you don't like where they're going, not quite sure where you're gonna land, but I predict will, in the end, enjoy the experience. Or at least the pain will go away from beating your head against the wall, no?

The Morning Line

BP: 140/100

Monday, April 05, 2004

Oy Vey

It's a good thing I have 15 months to find a new job because at this rate it will take me that long.

There is just TOO MUCH INFORMATION out there. And not enough of what I need. I'm trolling the internet and scanning currently available jobs. I've mentioned my need/desire for a job change to several friends and acquaintances, and some offered good support, others said "mortgage broker? You don't want to be a mortgage broker!" I don't know if I do -- don't know if I don't.

I shouldn't be too hard on myself. I think I am slowly starting to narrow down and focus. I mean, I know I don't want something in the medical field. Don't have the background. Don't have the desire to go back and get the needed background. Cross that off the list.

I think there are two things I need to keep in mind:

1) I need to be honest with myself about my interests, aptitudes and skills
2) I need to work my network; talk to someone who will introduce me to someone who just might have the perfect position for me.

The Morning Line

BP: 140/100

Sunday, April 04, 2004

New And Different

It's beginning to be a recurring theme - now that the pain and pressure in my chest has subsided, I'm looking forward to making (yet another) fresh start. The unemployed boy next door hit the nail on the head - this was just a transitional job for me, just like John was a transitional relationship. If I'm honest with myself, I never saw myself working at this organization for the rest of my life. It was a convenient move for me at the time.

And speaking of new and different, there have been several new search items that have led people here:

* minute hoarding clock watcher (that seems to be getting steady activity)
* Krispy Kreme calendar (is there such a thing?)
* sex and the city stop wading in our pool Candace Bergen
* blood pressure meaning (yeah, it's still high)
* Lisa Leuschner naked (not here!)

Alright ladies and germs, time for me to tend to a few housekeeping duties before heading to bed early - tomorrow will be my first full day in the office since my boss gave me my 15 months notice. Much to tend to.

Oh, What The Hell

Join me at

Kenna Fearing has invited you to join Kenna's personal and private community at Friendster, where you and Kenna can network with each other's friends.

Friendster is an online community that connects people through networks of friends for dating or making new friends.

Friendster is for people who are single, people in relationships, and anyone who wants to make new friends or help their friends meet new people.

You can use Friendster to:

* Meet new people to date, through your friends and their friends
* Make new friends
* Help your friends meet new people

Once you join Friendster, you will be automatically connected to your friend Kenna, and all of Kenna's friends.

Click below to join Friendster:

The Morning Line

BP: 160/110

Saturday, April 03, 2004

Friday, April 02, 2004

Thursday, April 01, 2004

The Morning Line

BP: 150/105

Headed out of town this afternoon - sans laptop. See you when I get back online sometime over the weekend.