Still Swirling

The whirlwind is still blowing.

Sometimes I've wondered - do I write more when I'm happy or when I'm sad? I think I definitely have tended to write/journal more during the sad times of my life. Interestingly enough, there have been times when I thought I was happy and wrote a lot, but looking back, those were actually bad times for me. So I think the answer is that I write more during the bad times.

So my lack of posting could actually be seen as a good thing.

To catch you up on where I've been ... the weekend before Halloween I went to Wyoming with my friends Susan and Julie. It was a great trip. All we did was eat, sleep and sit. But the sitting was on the airplane and in the car - we traveled a lot. Managed to get to Yellowstone, a first for me. I'm really glad we went in October and avoided the crowds.

So we had a great trip, but on our return, I got some bad news. My friend Susie (not to be confused with Susan) called to say that her ex-husband and children had been in a car accident. Her ex and son were fine, but her daughter was in intensive care with a head injury. As soon as I landed I went to the hospital. They had her in a medically induced coma and it was shocking to see her.

I actually hadn't seen her in a few years, and she is now 14 years old and a freshman in high school. She's not a little girl any more - she's a young woman. And there she was with all of her hair shaved off and she was swollen from the fluids they were pumping into her and she had all of these tubes ... and she was there for 16 days. Late last week they moved her to a rehabilitation hospital. I don't actually know the exact diagnosis/prognosis. She's in there, she's out of the coma now and she seems to comprehend what Susie says to her, but she can't seem to make her body work anymore.

She's learning how to sit ... how to hold her head ... how to swallow ... how to walk ... how to even reach up and scratch an itch. She has to start all over. Susie has been visiting her every day, and she's just exhausted. I have offered to do whatever she needs me to do - cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, whatever. So far, I haven't been able to do anything but offer.

I don't have children, but Susie's kids are special to me. We were neighbors when they were born (they are twins, a boy and a girl) and the only time I stopped taking my weekly yoga class was when I babysat the twins for Susie when she was taking a class. Susie was so calm and collected when she called me with the news, and I held my composure until she said "I wanted you to know because in a way they are your babies too." That's when I lost it.

And yet, I'm sure I can't even begin to experience the depth of emotions that Susie must be feeling. To have your child, a piece of you, go through this suffering and not be able to do anything about it. It's just a waiting game. This little girl will recover, eventually, but it will take a long time.

So every day I check the web site where Susie journals her daughter's progress, and I think of her, and I pray that she's able to make a full recovery. I'm trying to think positively and count my blessings, but it's going to be hard to be thankful this year when someone I care about is in pain.

Whirlwind

First of all, thanks to Sue and Deb for guest posting for me.

I love, love, LOVED Sue's speculations, and it's been far too long since I've seen Brian's backside. The truth of the matter is, I did go on an exciting trip to get a boob job (I worked hard for the money to pay for it) and I was thinking of new blog posts.

Anybody want to guess where I went?

Venus as a boy

I* like to think of Fear Not as "my other blog". To that end, I feel that lately, it has been lacking in the number of photos of Brian's backside**. This post shall remedy that situation!



* I am Scooterdeb from Cheaper Than Therapy
** I wonder if she'll ever speak to me again when she reads this?

Kenna Has Left The Building

... but would you notice unless I told you so?*

I'm hoping her request to have some of us step in and guest blog for her means she hasn't forgotten the blogsphere is still here. I've been speculating on what she can be doing while she's away. **

• She is writing a novel
• She went on another one of her exciting trips
• She is moving
• She and The Man are eloping
• She is getting a boob job
• She is 'finding herself'
• She is thinking of new blog posts to regale us with when she returns

Feel free to add your two-cents' worth!

* I am Sue from The Torn Pages
**I wonder if she'll ever speak to me again when she reads this?

The Heat Is On

I turned it on Sunday. I didn't want to get out of a nice hot shower and step into a 57 degree house. So, I made it until October 14.

Random

Where do I start?

1) What's with the raids on Anna Nicole Smith's doctors' offices/homes? And the talk of digging her up? Didn't they already do an autopsy? Let the poor girl rest in peace.

2) Just watched Deal or No Deal which I declared a losing proposition back in December 2005 (my God, has it already been on that long?) and they were trying so hard to give away a million dollars that they gave the contestant eight chances. And she picked a million dollar case! But sold it for $115,000. I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make with this, but she took the deal because her friends/family advisors told her it was guaranteed and she could invest it and turn it into $1 million. I hope she does.

3) Ann Coulter is a fucking whack job. Good for Donny Deutsch for challenging her. The scary part is that he said he thought she didn't do it intentionally, that she really didn't think she was saying anything wrong, that she wasn't saying it just to be extreme and get attention. Yeah, that's my point. She's a fucking whack job. There. Someone had to say it.

4) I joined the gym and last night I went to a class called Reduce Your Assets. My assets are killing me today.

5) Today is October 12 and I still have not turned on the heat in the house. My hands are cold as I sit here at the keyboard. The temperature is dropping and I don't know if I'll make it through the weekend without turning the furnace on. I made it until October 14 last year, and October 19 the year before that. Stay tuned to see how long I hold out this year.

Worst. Migraine. Ever.

I've had two others this bad, but this one was the worst. At least the other two were preceded by a drunken night of partying (and were, most likely, alcohol poisoning and not migraines). But this. Pure unadulterated hell. And I can't pinpoint a specific reason.

I had gone out after work and nursed one beer in the local brewery for two and a half hours. Came home at 8:00 or so and made a quesadilla using leftover chicken. Maybe it was bad yeast in the beer. Maybe it was bad chicken. But to wake up in a cold sweat with a headache? I tried taking my migraine medication, but threw it up. Managed to go back to sleep for awhile, but couldn't kick the nausea or the headache. Lost track of how many times I hurled.

At one point I thought was throwing up the guacamole I had put on the quesadilla, but I think it was just the bile from the bottom of my stomach. Nice, bright fluorescent green. Really astounding. Couldn't keep anything down. Not even a banana which was the fix on the last two massive migraines.

Eventually, it worked its way through and I was able to keep down some toast and banana. Around 6:00 I took more migraine medication, but stayed in a prone position most of the day. A pity too. It was a nice day and I completely missed it. Still moving in slow motion today.

Who Knew?

So I just logged on to my online savings account and I realized that I could view my statements. And when I clicked on the link I saw that I could always view my statements and that, in fact, I was supposed to have been receiving statements all along, but the email bounced. So I started going back and viewing and saving the old statements and there it was.

1099-INT.

Attached to the December statement. Which I never got. And therefore never submitted as part of my tax return. So yes, I admit it. I failed to report $35 in interest income. I just updated my email address. It shouldn't happen again.

In other news, I kept getting these PC Tools error messages so I decided to download the most recent program and run the full scan on my computer. That was three hours and 88,000+ files ago. The good news is that the number of infections found? Zero. Of course the computer hadn't been plugged in or turned on for 162 days so ...

Yes, it's time for a new 'puter.

SpamAlot

In the past 30 days my gmail account has accumulated 1,394 pieces of spam.

That's Just Wrong!

So this couple we know, they're getting married. And I just got invited to the shower and since we're not going to the (destination) wedding, I have to put in an appearance at the shower and represent, you know?

Now, I know that things have evened out in the shower and wedding department lately. Sure, you'll still see people register for towels and linens and silverware and blenders and throw rugs and draperies and the like, but now the guy gets to ask for a few things he would like too.

It's not just Macy's and Bed Bath 'N Beyond or Target and Kohl's where you register. You can register at home supply stores, like Lowe's, too.

But riddle me this .... would you put this on your wedding registry? Yes, there it is. A 16" gas chain saw for $199.00. Oh, I think I'll add that to my cart!

Can you imagine? How cool would that be if I showed up at the shower and gave them the chain saw as my gift? "Hope you have a wonderful life together and I really don't want to know who intends on using this or how ..."

And yet, somehow, if you knew this couple, you would think it totally appropriate. Yeah, I really don't have an extra $200 so I think they'll be getting the $49 chafing dish instead.

Exhausted

I am utterly and completely wiped out.

Could have something to do with the 800 miles I traveled over Labor Day Weekend. Or the fact that I am at least ten pounds overweight. Or the very thought of packing and moving again.

I could go to bed right now. In fact, I think I will.

I Tought I Saw A Coyote

I did! I did! Earlier this evening I spotted a coyote!

I was sitting here at the computer and I spotted some movement out near the car. I stood up and saw what looked like a small dog and quickly realized it was a coyote. It's very unusual to see them. I called for The Man but he thought I was just talking on the phone and did get up until it was too late.

It freaked me out a little, thinking that a wild predator was this close to the house, but he wasn't that big, and he probably is more afraid of me than I am of him. Plus, he was just a little thing - I think I could take him. Not like those western wolves. So, my brush with wildlife. It happened too quickly for me to get a picture, and besides, the camera would definitely have spooked him anyway.

Everything Is Miscellaneous

So, remember a few weeks back when I went to pick up my car and it wasn't ready? And I had to walk a mile and a half into town to kill time at the public library? Well, while I was there, I checked out this book called "Everything Is Miscellaneous" and it really got me thinking.

I read the book (okay, skimmed the first few chapters) and it was pretty interesting. You know how we all have boxes of photos that we never seem to put in photo albums? And how, now that we have digital cameras we think we're going to finally organize our photos? Have you done it? No, because instead of making things easier, we've made things more difficult.

Now we have options. Instead of putting things in one physical album and labeling it August 2007 vacation, suddenly we can apply multiple labels. Yes, it's a 2007 photo, but it's also a photo of DisneyWorld, and you were there in 1996 and 2002, so why not also label the photo DisneyWorld and have it there by the other DisneyWorld photos so you can see that it is indeed a small world after all?

The author also made the point (much more eloquently than I'm about to do) that iPods had something to do with this. See, with your iPod you can create a playlist that has special meaning - all the music you grew up with, music from angry female rockers, music from 1984, music that reminds you of your ex-lover - you name it, there is a custom playlist out there.

Not that I would know. I still haven't figured out how to create playlists on my iPod. In fact, I had to dig it out of my backpack this morning and hook it up to the charger. I'm just lucky I figured out how to download my contacts two years ago for my west coast trip. Anyway, the point is, the more we have to organize and the more we try to do so, the more complicated things get.

Even worse is the fact that it's so hard to throw things away. With digital photos, you take 101 photos of your garden. And because they aren't cluttering up your physical space, you keep all 101 photos, even if some of them are out of focus or the lighting is off or you have one really good photo of the roses and five not so good ones, you keep all six instead of just the one really good one. And you think you are fine because the photos aren't cluttering up your physical space, but you aren't because unless you go through and label all 101 photos then you have no way of sifting and sorting through them. And all you have are 101 photos that weigh you down.

It's the same way with email. The whole gmail concept is Evil. "With this much space, you never need to through anything out." So I have, what, 787 842 messages in my gmail box and only 15 of them have any real value to me. And the labels. I resisted using the labels because I was used to folders. I wanted goddam folders in my gmail. So I didn't use the labels and now my email is out of control. Yes, I can search my email and find the message I want. But it would be so much easier if I had just applied labels in the first place.

It didn't occur to me until I read (okay, skimmed) this book that the labels really were better than folders. Because I can apply more than one label, but I can only physically place a message in one folder. But if you think I'm going to go back and label all 842 messages in my gmailbox, you've got another thing coming.

I think it would be quite liberating if I were to simple go in and delete them all.

Well, at least delete everything prior to 2007.

Maybe I could search for certain messages (i.e. message from The Man, for example) and label them before deleting everything else.

Yeah. Right. I still have 842 messages in my gmailbox.

My, How Time Flies

I have a friend who I hadn't heard much from over the past few months. Turns out he's been going through some personal relationship challenges. I don't have the full story yet, but I can't say I'm surprised. I never felt comfortable about this relationship, and I can't say I told you so because I didn't - but I thought it.

In any event, this is a friend who was a much bigger part of my life three years ago. I can't believe three years have gone by. I've been blogging for three and a half years, and I have at least 3 1/2 blogs out there, and none of them is a true reflection of me. I'm okay with that. The world wide web is a scary place and I'm glad that I haven't put everything out there.

I've been saying for at least two years that I need to brush up on my web/computer skills, so today, for the first time in a long time, I visited one of my links, ProBlogger Blog Tips. When I first started blogging, it seemed that I was able to attract readers fairly easily. I very quickly assembled my little virtual community, and it was good. Lately, though, I've noticed that I don't seem to attract any new readers.

One reason is that my blog isn't devoted to any one particular topic. Another reason is that, well, I'm just not that into blogging anymore. Anyway, one of the reader tips from ProBlogger was to link to newer blogs and blog posts. I guess that would be one way to attract more traffic. Or I could just be satisfied with the referrals I get when people do a search on the Duggar family which just spawned child #17. Or the Google images referrals of that muscle-bound Match.com guy. Or the people looking for information about Matt Kaplan.

Why did you stop by?

Strange Bird

So, those long walks I've been taking down the driveway to get the mail ... one day I came upon three turkeys but I didn't have the camera with me. Now I try to take the camera with me in case I come upon some wildlife.

I can't for the life of me figure out what this bird is doing up here in the mountains of upstate New York.

The Best Laid Plans

I thought I had it all worked out.

I went away for the weekend with my girlfriends and left my car for service. Oil change, inspection and exterior detail. Not too hard, right? I specifically asked them to check the brakes because I remembered they said my rear brakes were at 30% the last time I had it in - would the brakes make it another 5,000 miles and if not, please replace them.

So I leave it at 10:00 a.m. on Friday and tell them that I'll pick it up Monday afternoon. Plenty of time to get the work done. I don't hear anything from them, so I assume it didn't need any extra work (they would need my authorization for anything more than $25 beyond the oil change, inspection and detail). We get up this morning, I turn my cell on ... no messages. We begin our trip back, stopping to shop and for lunch along the way. It doesn't occur to check my phone for messages.

My girl friends drop me off at the dealership at 2:00. I think I'm going to pick up my car, stop at the grocery store and be home in time to make dinner for The Man. Wrong.

"Your car didn't pass inspection."

What do you mean my car didn't pass inspection?

"You need new brakes."

Yes, I specifically asked you to look at the brakes and to replace them if they needed it.

"We called and left you a message."

I check my phone. They called at 11:25 this morning. They have had the car since 10:00 a.m. on Friday. If you were me, wouldn't you have assumed that if you hadn't heard anything by now that all was well? So now they are working on it but my ride had already left and I had to walk a mile and a half back into town. It could be done by 5:00. It might not be done until 7:00.

They'll call me.

Finally!

... After about sixteen tries, I was able to reset my Hallmark.com password. I still think it was them, not me.

... The Man started his new job today!

... I started exercising. Sure, it's just a long walk down the driveway to get the mail and back, but it's something.

... We have a kitchen sink!

A Good Time Was Had By All

Let's Get It Started In Here

Remember how I said something's gotta give and that we were just waiting for the party to get started? Well, 2007 is gonna rock and the partying has begun!

First I hear from Sally that she found her missing mojo - she's gotten rid of a toxic relationship that was dragging her down AND she got a new job. Then I hear from The Man. Turns out he has a job offer pending! And finally, I managed to connect with an old friend from high school - someone I hadn't talked to in years - and we talked for an hour an a half, like it had been 22 days instead of 22 years since we'd seen each other.

And to top it all off - Trucklet came home today, good as new and I secured an adorable studio apartment for a little mini girls getaway weekend. Everything is coming up roses.

And believe it or not - it all happened on what would have been my 16th wedding anniversary AND I already had a porch party scheduled for tomorrow night.

The planets they are aligned.

Who Knew?

That lost post? Not lost. Just not visible to me. Turns out I needed to clear my cache. I hadn't cleared my cache in like ... ever.

Seven and a half hours of yard work today. More to be done but it's going to have to wait. If I'm lucky, tonight I'll do some laundry and pick up around the house. Tomorrow I go with The Man to check out an assisted living facility for his father. LOTS more behind that but I won't get into it here.

When I get back tomorrow night I drop off Trucklet so she can get fixed. It will be good to have that behind me. Of course, her annual check-up (inspection) is due in July, so I'll have to take her in again before the end of the month.

Just saw that they found Jesse Davis' body and that boyfriend Bobby Cutts has been charged. Who didn't see that one coming?