Friday, December 31, 2004

Life Gets In The Way

My posts have really been spotty of late. Life has gotten in the way.

I'm realizing how totally apt my tag line is: On Company Time. I'm not working this week, and it shows in my lack of posts. I've been keeping very busy and despite a small glitch yesterday, have been to the gym every day as planned.

What I didn't plan on was having lunch with Larry on Tuesday ... and then receiving a follow-up invitation for dinner on Wednesday. Followed by a previously scheduled engagement with Michael tonight. This juggling I'm doing? Not very well.

I think Larry is totally cool with everything - he's just having a good time. In fact, he mentioned last night that one of the things he really likes about me is that I'm not too demanding. He has a full life, I have a full life. We try to make time for each other when we can. I think we are both totally comfortable with the relationship as it has developed.

Wish I could say the same thing for Michael. I had such a great time with him last Thursday, but he left on a slightly sour note after I was perhaps a little too blunt and direct with him about my relationship with John. But we got past it ... exchanged a few really heartfelt messages over the weekend, and agreed to get together again tonight. We were both looking forward to it. He finished work early and came over around 2:00 ... he left around 11:00. Yeah - nine hours with the guy.

And just like last week it was going great right up until the end. I can't remember how it happened - probably I mentioned that I had a headache and I commented that I didn't know if it was a migraine (which I frequently get) or a hangover.

"Why would you have a hangover?"

"I had dinner with a friend and we had a couple of drinks."

He kept coming back to it. What did I have for dinner last night? And finally - "Who did you have dinner with last night?" What was I going to do? Lie? I told him I had dinner with my friend Larry and suddenly the mood was dead. He admitted that it shouldn't bother him - we've only been on two dates, it's none of his business who I have dinner with.

But I think it bothers him. I feel badly that the evening ended on a sour note, but I'm not going to apologize for being honest! After he left, Phil emerged and I related the story. It was great having someone here to bounce it off immediately. You know what? It's not my problem. Like I said, we've only been on two dates. Not enough to ask for or expect exclusivity. Am I shopping around? Sure. But he knew that. And how am I going to find out whether or not I click with someone unless I go out and spend time with him?

So there it is. And here I am - up past my bedtime again. Apologies to Deb and Brian for not responding to your emails - I had every intention, but life got in the way.

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