Saturday, February 19, 2005

Temporary High

I've never had an addiction. I drink occasionally and I don't smoke or do drugs. I don't even drink coffee, although I do sometimes feel a need for caffeine which I get through drinking diet coke/pepsi (I don't really discern between the two - I'll take whatever is offered). I can count the number of times I've smoked pot on one hand.

But I do know what it feels like to crave something and the rush you get when you've indulged in your desire. In that moment, chocolate has never tasted so good, strawberries have never smelled as sweet, and your body has never felt this good. You are strong, confident, and assertive. On top of the world. Nothing can bring you down.

And then it happens. The temporary high is gone and you come tumbling down. Sometimes like a leaf, floating and twisting and turning in the breeze. Sometimes like a dead weight that's been dropped from high above.

I indulged in a temporary high last night, and now I'm coming down. Softly floating like that leaf turning in the wind. It's been a gentle landing, and I don't feel much regret at all.

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