So you're probably wondering about the last few lines of my previous post. Here's the scoop.
Paul was married to Julie, a college friend of my Ex. Once upon a time when we were all still married to each other, we used to hang out every now and then. Paul is an attractive guy, but there was something about him I couldn't put my finger on. I was just always a little unsure of his actions, a little bit uneasy around him.
So three and a half years ago, I left the Ex. Was doing pretty well on my own; at one point Paul helped me with some heavy lifting, we went skiing one time. That was it. Haven't really kept in touch with him or Julie. Last August the Ex tells me Julie and Paul are getting a divorce. Turns out she finally found out that he was cheating on her (something he admitted to me three years ago on that ski date). She wasted no time - found out in Jan and divorced by Sept. Very different from the three year process I went through to get my divorce (much more on that some other time).
So Paul has contacted me via email a few times since then, and last week we finally got together for a drink to catch up. He's living in a camp at the lake even though he owns a townhouse here in city ("I bought it for $85,000 and the realtor says he could sell it for $180,000; I'm renting it out and making $600/month on it") But it's a small camp the commute is hell - he's got an hour and half drive each way. And here I am in my four bedroom/five bathroom house within walking distance of work.
On Weds I got an email from Paul asking if I was going to happy hour again on Thurs. He was in Baltimore but should be passing through around 7:30 - was I up for a drink? I knew that 1) his flight would be delayed - it's January in the northeast, be real and 2) he was looking to spend the night.
So the flight is delayed, he doesn't get to the airport until 9:00 and doesn't knock on my door until 9:45. I told him I wasn't going anywhere but he was welcome to have a beer. He has a beer and an hour later I'm yawning and wondering when he'll leave or ask to stay. He never really asked, I had to bring it up ("Time for you to get going?") and he's like "Is it?" and gives me this look. I was annoyed. I have no problem letting a friend crash, but he wouldn't come out and ask.
Then we get upstairs (after I make it clear that he is staying in the guest room) and into bed and he's in the other room calling out my name. "Kenna...talk to me." "Kenna - are you asleep?" How juvenile is that? The first time I responded, but then I tried to convince myself that he'd made a call on his cell and was talking to someone else. He wasn't. Finally he gets out of bed and knocks on my door. "Can I come in?" "Five minutes."
"I just want to snuggle. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"
"There's a teddy bear in there, if you want to snuggle, snuggle with that."
I just knew that if I fell for that 'I just want to snuggle' line and let him crawl under the covers, the next thing I'd have his hands in inappropriate places and he'd be pressing his hard-on against me, trying to find a way to worm his way inside me. When he'd told me he was cheating on Julie, he told me that part of the reason was that he just has this incredible sex drive. He just needs it - a lot. What, did he think he'd be doing me a favor?
I left my husband 3 1/2 years ago. I'm doing just fine on my own, thank you very much. I don't need anyone playing petty little childish games with me. Paul's not welcome here anymore.