So the conversation that I didn't think I'd ever have with Phil occurred - sort of. He mentioned that the songs I sent were "pretty explicit" and he wanted to be sure we understood each other. Phil, I think I understand better than you know.
There is no chance of our being together in that way. He likes to tease me and flirt with me (bat me around like a kitten with a ball of yarn) but he doesn't have feelings for me the way I have feelings for him. I guess I knew that. I just wish it were different.