Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Was I Supposed To Be A Librarian?

I've been trolling through profiles on Blogger and based on the very few items I've posted on my profile, I keep finding that bloggers like me are librarians. But I can't be a librarian - my sister is a librarian. And if I were to become a librarian and somehow achieve more success than she has enjoyed, her fragile ego couldn't take it.

My sister is 18 months older than I am, but in many ways, I think she looks up to me. I've always been the bolder and more brash of the two of us. I've just always been stronger and smarter. My parents even made me the executor of their will because they knew I could handle it better than she could.

I pity my sister sometimes. She just doesn't stand up for herself, and I think life constantly disappoints her as a result. She's never been married, and I think she really wants to have children, but she refuses to have a baby with her significant other of 20 years (!) because they aren't married. He tells her - if you get pregnant, I'll marry you. Well, he's an alcoholic so it's probably better that she not marry him. Although for all intents and purposes, they have a common law marriage.

Sometimes she forgets herself and she'll talk and talk and stumble over her words she's trying to talk so fast. I think it's because her significant other never talks to her. They co-exist. Much like my husband and I were doing. But I had the guts to leave.

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